Thoughts from a southern girl...

Happy 2011!

2011-01-01T13:55:00.004-06:00

Looking back over the past few entries, I know that 2011 has got to have better things in store for me.

A job. A new love. A book deal. New friends. A better life.

Those are just a few things I want right now. I still can't get Jason out of my head. I miss him very much and without my phone, I can't even let him know that. I know I don't need to bother with him anymore after all the hurt he's put me through. It's a burned bridge I need to leave alone.

The highlight of my 2010 was definitely meeting Christian Kane. I know that's an experience I'll always treasure and I look forward to hearing him sing live sometime in the future.

Another highlight was interviewing Anna Garrott. Anna is a very talented woman from Troy that I'd never met before, but I thoroughly enjoyed talking to her on the phone for the interview. I just wish I'd gotten to meet her in person.

I look back on my time as a reporter at both county newspapers and I can say I've gotten to interview some pretty amazing people. But I think I will always be fond of the interview I had with my Uncle Donald and the article I got to write about him.

I still have the information from my interview with my Uncle Robert that I want to turn into an article or story. Just the stories are enough for a great tale. I'll be sure to share it here with everyone when I finish it.

I currently have six people reading my book and none of them has finished. I added another to the list last night because I know she'll do her best to read it. I need some serious opinions other than from one single person, who LOVED it. It's almost wrapped up but not quite and it needs a serious edit to make sure I haven't screwed up the timeline or any details.

I'm making notes on a short story that I'm working on. It started out with a crazy idea and kept building from there. It's a cowboy story. Not something I normally write but something I felt compelled to write because of Christian Kane's music.

I foresee a lot of personal writing in 2011 and hopefully a new beginning that will bring me some long awaited happiness.

I didn't have too many views on some of my 2010 blogs so I'll only do a top 5. Here they are:

5. Remembering mom's favorite things

4. Hurt

3. Things happen for a reason

2. The hurt that mixes with pain

1. Former teacher touched lives at Pleasant Home

Moving on from dream to reality

2010-11-21T16:10:00.006-06:00

I'm trying very hard to be strong and keep a good head on my shoulders. And right now, being around people who care is an important part of getting through this hard time.

I have some wonderful friends and people who care about me and I'm so thankful for them in my life. Without them I'd have no one and I'd be all alone.

Sometimes I feel all alone in a crowded room, but that's just because I've lost everyone I've ever cared about - mostly family. I've lost one of my best friends, a guy who I thought would always be there for me. Turns out that his "old and grey" story was short lived. People change because of how you treat them and sometimes they can't change back to who they were when you met them.

The highlight in all of this mess is that I got to meet my favorite man in the entire world, Christian Kane. I met him could not find a single word to say that didn't sound completely stupid. I've always been like that when I've tried to talk to someone I had a huge crush on. I keep wondering what would have happened if I'd had the courage to do what I wanted. I have a lot of whatifs in my life. And I know I won't live this one down. But at least I got a picture with him. I'm really proud of it and that I got his autograph too. I know if I had a second chance to do it all again I would probably be the same way. Wish I'd had more of my girls with me to push me to do what I should have done. But it's okay. Hopefully one day I will get my chance again and I won't be a chicken. But I guess it was having built him up to be my perfect idea of Mr. Right that kept me from talking to him. I know if I could pick one person to be my Mr. Perfect, my knight in shining armor, my soulmate, it would be Christian.

I have so many dreams and hopes and wishes for my life. Mostly I wish to find true love and have my name on a book cover one day. I keep dreaming even though I know my dreams seem so far away from me right now.

After having lost Jason, I feel like I might never be whole again, but I know I will be. I've been through this before with him and with someone else whom I still see in this town. I hate having to be in this town knowing they can be happy without me in their lives. But one day I'll be happy without them too. I just have to find it or let it find me.

Fairytales and Castles by Lifehouse is one of my favorite songs. I guess I still hope that one day I'll get a happy ending of some sort.

Fairytales and Castles
by Lifehouse

He says he looks in the mirror
And he can't tell anymore
Who he really is and who they believe him to be
And he says he walks a thin line
Between what is and what could be
He's getting closer
To something he can't understand

Cause there's a crack in his plastic crown
And his throne of ice is melting
He climbed his ladder
There was nothing there
And now it's a long way down

Cause on and on and on he goes
Dancing on the grave
Of what he thought was still alive, hey
On and on and on he goes
Dancing in mansions made of twigs
And castles made of sand

He says his head is filled with
Cartoons and fairy tales
And he's trapped inside a dungeon of dolls
With smiles on their faces
He's built a pretty cage
His shows on a beautiful stage
With candy coated prison bars
And chains that look like jewelry

Cause there's a crack in his plastic crown
And his throne of ice is melting
He climbed his ladder
There was nothing there
And now it's a long way down

Cause on and on and on he goes
Dancing on the grave
Of what he thought was still alive, hey
On and on and on he goes
Dancing in mansions made of twigs
And castles made of sand

Cause he lives inside
A fairy tale sand castle now
And there's room inside
For false expectations and illusions

Cause there's a crack in his plastic crown
And his throne of ice is melting
He climbed his ladder
There was nothing there
And now it's a long way down

Cause on and on and on he goes
Dancing on the grave
Of what he thought was still alive, hey
On and on and on he goes
Dancing in mansions made of twigs
And castles made of sand

Cause on and on and on he goes
Dancing on the grave
Of what he thought was still alive, hey
On and on and on he goes
Dancing in mansions made of twigs
And castles made of sand

Cause on and on and on he goes
Dancing on the grave
Of what he thought was still alive, hey
On and on and on he goes
Dancing in mansions made of twigs
And castles made of sand

Cause on and on and on he goes
Dancing on the grave
Of what he thought was still alive, hey
On and on and on he goes
Dancing in mansions made of twigs
And castles made of sand

The hurt that mixes with pain

2010-11-14T18:00:00.002-06:00

Author's note: I wrote this Thursday night before everything fell completely apart. The girl in the story is me and the guy - well let's just say he's someone I should have forgotten a long time ago. This isn't the first time he's hurt me. It's just the last time I'm letting him. He hurt me by doing the one thing I feared most: him getting back with his ex. He said he loved me more than as a friend and that if he wanted a relationship it would be with me. This was four months ago and now he's gone and completely ripped my world apart. He hasn't stood by me and he hasn't been there when I've needed him. He's gone and I want to die. He told me he would rather die old and alone than to be without me to keep him sane. Well I guess that's just another broken promise to add to all the others he's made to me. So here's the story of my hurt...

He wasn't what she wanted, but he was what she had and what she thought she deserved.

He wasn't gorgeous, but his eyes were the oddest shade of blue mixed with green she'd ever seen. Just looking at him when he wasn't looking at her made her heart skip a beat.

She loved him but he didn't love her. He said he thought he loved her more than a friend twice in the nine years they had known each other. Both times he was jealous of someone else in her life. And now she was alone waiting on him to come home to a house they shared together.

Sometimes she thought she was loosing the will to live and sometimes she cried when he wasn't there. She sometimes cried when he was there but he didn't notice. And it was probably because he didn't really care.

She stared at the computer screen, wondering what to write as an episode of Dawson's Creek played on the TV. She wondered where he was, what he was doing, who he was with.

It didn't really matter she guessed, taking a puff of her cigarette and a drink of her Diet Coke. She put on her reading glasses and stared at the computer screen again. The blinking curser mocked her.

She wanted to be a writer. She wanted to have a love that could last past the three month mark. She wanted some life experiences to give her the guts to follow her heart and fall in love with someone who could potentially be her soul mate.

But there was him. And he was her world. He had been for the past nine years and he always would be. In the back of her mind she always thought of him and how he'd been her second love – the one who'd brought her out of her shell even though he had his own problems.

He'd made her into what she was, but he wasn't what she needed. She needed someone who wanted to come home to her and someone who wanted to hold her at night. Someone who would curl up with her and watch silly shows like Friends or Dawson's Creek. Someone who would look at her and love her for who she was.

He couldn't do that. He'd never really done that more than a handful of times. And since they'd lived together they hadn't slept in the same bed more than two times.

Her life revolved around him. She loved him so much that she didn't want to think of finding someone else. But times were changing. He was changing and so was she. They hardly talked. They hadn't kissed in ages and she couldn't remember what his touch felt like.

She just wanted him to love her and she knew he never would – not like she wanted or deserved.

She took off her glasses and rubbed her face. She was at a loss for more words to say everything she was feeling. She hurt – inside and out. She ached for someone to understand and for someone to want her like she wanted him.

The dialogue on the TV screen made her pause. Faith. Would you take a big leap of faith for someone you really loved or would you sit there and wait for them to take the leap themselves.

Do first loves ever really go away? Does the hurt die when you want to die too? Or does the feeling live forever in your heart until you give up on it?

When do you give up on someone? Do you just look in the mirror one day and not recognize the person you've become or the person they've become?

Do you give up when you feel you've lost everything? Do you cry a little and scream inside your head that you're letting him go?

The only thing she can think of is leaving and never coming back. She feels like her life makes no sense and that she could walk out on him and he wouldn't care if she ever came back.

She could give up nine years of knowing him and let him go. But she can't. So here she is. Stuck until she has the will to walk away and forget him.

She tries to hold the tears inside because of him. He's here. We talk but it's about nothing.

****

We hide the way we feel. I hide the hurt deep inside behind the mask I put on.

The episode on the TV now hits close to home and makes me want to cry, but I hold it deep inside.

It's time to close. It's time to move on and begin a new chapter in my life.

Things happen for a reason

2010-10-29T09:06:00.002-05:00

I've always heard things happen for a reason and that God does things in His own time.

I've heard things like "things will get better because they have to" and "there's only one way to go when you're at rock bottom."

It's the trying times that have us looking to our faith and when things are going good we often forget to say thank you to our maker for the day's blessings.

I can't say that my faith is strong right now. I know I've made mistakes and I'll take responsibility for them. My heart is struggling to breathe right now from the stress I'm under because of a situation I'm in. I ask all of you to pray for me and keep me in your thoughts as I go through this roller coaster of emotions and situations before me.

I'm going to use the opportunities before me to do a few things I need to do and a few things I have wanted to finish for a long time.

I am going to finish my book and read more. I'm going to go see some old friends and maybe make some new ones. I'm going to love somebody with all my heart even if they never love me back. I'm going to be the kind of person that has a big heart and does things to make others feel good. (If you know me, you know that's who I've always striven to be.)

Since the reunion has been canceled for now, I will still be going home for homecoming. I know home's only a 30 minute drive away, but sometimes to me it seems so far away. I know if I ever decide to move away from here I will miss it more than words can ever express. But maybe it's past time for me to move on and I can actually open my eyes to see it now.

Going home...and family reunions

2010-10-27T13:09:00.003-05:00

My favorite definition of home is the following: any place of residence or refuge: a heavenly home.

I've been thinking about home more often lately because of Opp Fest and Absolutely Andalusia Homecoming next month. My family tries to have a reunion once a year - and sometimes it happens and others it doesn't. This year's reunion is centered around Andalusia's homecoming and the homecoming at our church - Mobley Creek.

I always enjoy seeing faces I haven't seen in months or sometimes years. The excitement of seeing the people I remember from Thanksgiving reunions many years ago makes me long for those days again.

When we can get together and eat and sing a few old hymns, we truly know we've all come home. My family is my refuge and my home.

The Wards - my mom's side of the family - have always been supportive and strong in their faith. My great granddaddy, Bill Ward was a baptist preacher and a farmer. Even though I never got to meet him, I feel as though I know him because of my Uncle Donald and stories I've heard about him from other uncles.

I'm always thankful that my family keeps growing and yet through technology we somehow keep up with each other.

I have so many fond memories of reunions in the past.

Thanksgiving morning I'd wake up early and watch the Macy's parade before Mom and Uncle Clyde decided it was time to head up the road to Aunt Vivian and Uncle William's house. The kids played football or tag or some other country game that didn't require a tv. We played in the dirt. We hid behind our mother's legs or behind trees or bushes in the yard.

The food was the best part! Everyone brought their favorite dishes and the men brought tables and chairs from the church for everyone. The eating would start about noon and the visiting would go on all afternoon - probably because there was lots of catching up to do and us kids didn't want to go home!

There are so many of our family that aren't with us anymore and not a day goes by that I don't remember one of them.

But we carry on and come home to Mobley Creek to see each other when we can.

November 13, 2010 we will have our next reunion. I'm already excited to see everyone and take pictures.

I know that going home for that weekend will truly make me feel like I belong somewhere.

Hurt

2010-10-19T12:46:00.007-05:00

Sometimes I wonder why I feel the things I do. Sometimes I wonder why I can't see the hurt before it becomes too strong. Sometimes I wonder why I keep making mistakes and picking myself up. Sometimes I wonder why I can be so talented and still have nothing to show for it.

I've pondered and thought and wished and hoped for so long. And now I've finally come to the realization that what was never mine to begin with will never be mine anyway.

The things I want and things I need mean nothing. So I sit alone because I am alone – except for my God who sits with me.

When my tears fall and my heart breaks, I feel the angel wings brush my face. My tears are wiped from my eyes and I feel peace from the pain that wars inside.

I know I’ll never be everything I want to be. I know I’ll never be the one someone needs. I wish there were words that could say all I need to say.

Here’s a song that might do just as well:

What Hurts the Most by Rascal Flatts

I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house

That don't bother me

I can take a few tears now and then and just let them out

I'm not afraid to cry every once in a while

Even though going on with you gone still upsets me

There are days every now and again I pretend I'm okay

But that's not what gets me

What hurts the most

Was being so close

And having so much to say

And watching you walk away

And never knowing

What could have been

And not seeing that loving you

Is what I was tryin' to do

It's hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go

But I'm doin' It

It's hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I'm alone

Still Harder

Getting up, getting dressed, livin' with this regret

But I know if I could do it over

I would trade give away all the words that I saved in my heart

That I left unspoken

What hurts the most

Is being so close

And having so much to say

And watching you walk away

And never knowing

What could have been

And not seeing that loving you

Is what I was trying to do

What hurts the most

Is being so close

And having so much to say

And watching you walk away

And never knowing

What could have been

And not seeing that loving you

Is what I was trying to do

Not seeing that loving you

That's what I was trying to do

Ooohhh....

Former teacher touched lives at Pleasant Home

2010-09-01T14:42:00.001-05:00

Note: This article will appear in the Thursday, Sept. 2 edition of The Opp News.

The sound of Mamie Wahl’s booming voice and infectious laughter is something I’ll always remember.

Wahl was a sixth grade teacher at Pleasant Home School who taught high school chorus while I was in school. This tough lady went through a kidney transplant and a heart attack and still returned to teaching after each health scare.

Wahl passed away Thursday, Aug. 26 at the age of 58 after spending two and a half weeks in a coma.

Wahl was the kind of teacher you weren’t sure if you wanted to have until you had her. I remember the older kids telling me she was a tough teacher. And that was true. She was a tough teacher, but she was one of the best.

“Mrs. Wahl was always the teacher that all the other kids warned you about, but when I got there I found her to be a great teacher who was different from all the others,” former student Laura Watson said. “She knew how to show discipline without using brute force which always set her apart.”

While I have many memories of Wahl, I know my years in chorus will always be the ones I think of first.

I had the pleasure of interviewing Wahl several years ago while I was completing my internship at the Andalusia Star-News. She was candid about going through dialysis and finally receiving a kidney transplant.

I love to take trips down memory lane and often that comes with remembering what I liked about my favorite teachers.

Several of my schoolmates were kind enough to share their thoughts and memories with me Monday about Wahl’s determination not to give up on her students.

“What was so funny about Mrs. Wahl was that she’d throw a shoe at you, but she’d let you know that you can do anything if you set your mind to it,” former student Christy Watson said.

Wahl touched so many lives with her stern, but practical teaching. One former student was able to say “thank you” and get a little praise from her former sixth grade teacher.

“She’s someone that I’ll remember and be thankful for having the pleasure of knowing for the rest of my life,” Amanda Bryan said.

Bryan said she never understood until years later why Wahl pushed her to always do her best.

“About a year ago I saw her at the doctor’s office and told her thank you for what she’d taught me,” she said. “She smiled and said she knew that I had a lot of potential and that she had just been thinking of me a few days before. She said she was proud of how I turned out.”

Wahl touched lives even when she was going through dialysis before receiving a kidney transplant.

“When Mrs. Wahl had her kidney transplant, my mom was there at the same time for the same thing,” Pleasant Home graduate Leslie Tice Sightler said. “She was an extraordinary lady and I never really knew her that well until then.”

One of the things most students remember is how quickly Wahl’s temper would rise, but they also knew she was a caring teacher who never forgot a birthday.

“I remember how she would paddle you for your birthday, but of course it wasn't a painful paddling,” former student, Yancey Chavers said. “And I remember she would get mad if you called her by her full name, even if you put the "Mrs." in front of it.”

Many of her former students remember a sweet lady, but also one who could straighten up children in a way very few teachers can.

“I remember she was very sweet until you ticked her off,” Angie Cross Parker said with a laugh. “Then those eyes would just cut through you and you knew you better straighten up quick.”

Pleasant Home math teacher, Lisa Rolling remembers the fighter Wahl had become in recent years.

“She was a true fighter,” Rolling said. “She had fought for her life several times, but couldn't fight this one. I sure will miss her. She loved Pleasant Home and she loved her kids. She was a very devoted teacher.”

Many Pleasant Home students will never have the experience of a teacher like Mamie Wahl. This year’s sixth graders will never hear her famous saying “who died and made you king?”

While Pleasant Home, Wahl’s family and her former students mourn her loss, we can all know that our memories of her will last forever.

I know I’ll carry all of these memories with me and smile when I think of her.

Remembering mom's favorite things

2010-05-06T15:31:00.002-05:00

As mother’s day approaches, I think of my mother, who’s been gone for half my life.

I remember the wonderful things about her and I smile but I get teary thinking I didn’t know her as well as I should have.

At 15, my only concerns were boys and getting my driver’s permit. I should have paid more attention to her. I should have – well I guess those shoulda, coulda, wouldas don’t really count now.

My mother, Edna Earl Ward Taylor, would be 70 this year.

As I grow older, my memories of her fade with each passing year. I can look back through my mind’s eye and see a few moments and those precious moments are the ones I cling to most.

I know my mother loved me. and I know she knew I loved her too. But the stories I hear about her now show me how little I paid attention to who she really was.

I remember little things – like her favorite perfume was Wind Song and she loved Harlequin romance novels. Her favorite color was purple – and that was the color of her burial dress.

She used a walking cane because she had back surgery and one of her legs was half an inch shorter than the other.

She loved makeup – blue eye shadow was her favorite. She wore fake fingernails because her real ones always broke off right at the tip.

I can still see her gluing them on when I close my eyes and take myself back.

She loved Marty Robbins and old musicals. She loved the movies, “The Robe,” “The Sound of Music” and “Sparticus.”

She liked mystery shows like “Murder, She Wrote,” “Columbo,” “Diagnosis Murder,” “In the Heat of the Night” and “Matlock.”

Her hair was always short and it turned grey by the time I was 14.

My mother was diabetic and she gave herself injections twice a day. I am diabetic now, which is something I wasn’t glad to inherit from her, but it makes me understand the struggles she endured.

She sang alto in the church choir. She was so proud when I sang my first solo that she taped it on a cassette recorder.

I can almost see her when I look in the mirror and when I do I see the sometimes wavy hair I inherited from her side. I hear my voice moving to alto when I sing in the choir now.

I can think of no better gift to give my mother than to continue to do her proud.

Mom’s Poem

I believe in angels

And just because I do

I know my mom is watching

Over me right now.

I know I’m not a failure

Or disappointment too

Because she’s watching, guiding

And helping me move through.

I wait for the Lord to come

Because I know ’tis soon

I’ll walk with her up there

And with Jesus too.

My mother was the best

She taught me about Jesus

And now she looks on with pride

As I follow all my dreams.

Even though I miss her

I know her love will never die

And even though she’s gone

I still wish her a ‘Happy Mother’s Day.’

The best thing about writing is...

2010-04-15T19:19:00.009-05:00

...being able to see the people inside the story.

Lately, I've been doing a lot of thinking about my writing. I know I have talent - but sometimes I have this point of doubting myself. I guess all writers do that.

I think about what it means to be a writer - to touch peoples lives with the words you share with them and about them.

I have had the opportunity to meet some extraordinary people in the past few months working at The Opp News. These people give so much of themselves just to make others happy. They have the backing of people who care about them and they face trials with their heads held high.

I look at these wonderful people and think of all the stories each person has inside of them. We all have stories - from our childhood or from last weekend with a big group of friends.

These stories are the reason I love being a writer and reporter. Getting to the reason a person does what they do is a humbling experience. Hearing about how someone has fought cancer and survived, how a fire chief was saved by his own firefighters, how thousands of people benefit from non-profit organizations and many more I can't even begin to name.

I'm so blessed to be the wordsmith for these people. To take out my pen and paper and let the words flow from their mouths onto the page - letting them tell the story instead of me. It's all about how you arrange the words to make a story great.

When a story comes together and you can visualize it in your mind, you come away with something more than a finished article. It's a work of art. It might not be perfect and it might never be, but it will touch the lives of those who read it.

I've always wanted to touch lives, to make a difference in a life with my words. I might not use big words and overly describe every detail, but I make the visuals work in my own way. I make things simple and straightforward - when I don't over think the story.

I respect the faith and sacrifices of extraordinary people like Jerry Wilson and Tyler Spann. Each one of these has a story. They have faith they will overcome all the obstructions life throws their way.

Jerry Wilson is the fire chief at Hopewell Volunteer Fire Department. He and his family are truly amazing people and they have so much faith in God. His story - having to call out his own fire department to save his life - is one I know has touched my life personally. His strong will and faith that he will continue to recover in the days and months ahead inspires me to have more faith in not only myself, but the rest of man kind.

Tyler Spann is a very special 14-year-old boy. Looking at him, you wouldn't even know that he suffers from Asperger's syndrome. Asperger's is a milder form of autism effecting social interaction, but each child having this disorder excels at something. And excelling at something helps these amazing children express their emotions. Tyler expresses his emotions through his music - which is the perfect outlet. This talented boy can play Vivaldi, Mozart or Beethoven by ear on the piano and he's written his own compositions since the age of 11. He is also teaching himself to play the violin, which is amazing!

These are only two of the amazing people I've been able to talk to in the past few months. I have met so many more over the past few years, writing for The Andalusia Star-News and now The Opp News. I couldn't even begin to name them all.

I remember talking to a little girl who survived cancer and interviewing a soldier who had just come home from Iraq during my time at the Star-News. Of course, one of my favorite interviews was with Anna Garrott. Getting to interview someone that loves music and her fans is one of the best things. She doesn't let getting famous go to her head. Anna's a really talented girl and she's got a great head on her shoulders. I think she's going places and I hope to see her on stage again soon - headlining! I wish her all the best!

I can't wait to talk to more people. I can't wait to tell their stories! I'm still trying to finish my novel - though I haven't read or written anything on it in ages. I get new ideas, but with writing news and feature stories, I'm mentally drained. I can't wrap my head around my characters right now - well, save for one. And he's mostly my knight in shining armor stuck in a book. I'm hoping one day Everyone who reads Midnight Hope will love him as much as I do.

Garrott opens for Luke Bryan at tonight's Opp Rattlesnake Rodeo

2010-03-26T12:29:00.004-05:00

Note: I was extremely honored to interview this wonderful girl from Troy. Anna is as sweet as she can be and I hope some of you have the chance to come out and see her perform at the Opp Rattlesnake Rodeo tonight (March 26) at 6:50 p.m. I think this interview is one of my top five favorites since I began working at the Opp News the last of November. If you pick up a paper, this article is located on page 7A.

Country singer and songwriter, Anna Garrott will be a little closer to home when she opens for Luke Bryan tonight at the Opp Rattlesnake Rodeo.

Three years ago, the 25-year-old Troy native’s dream came true when she signed with Pensacola based label, Blue Steel Records. In 2008, she released her first album, Only Time Will Tell.

“Blue Steel Records owners (Vicki Carey and Jim White) have gotten behind me from day one,” she said. “We built the label from the ground up and they believed in me. As a team we all make it work.”

From Troy to Nashville, Garrott still remains a laid back, hometown girl.
“My heart and soul will always be in Alabama,” she said.

An entertainer from an early age, she started dancing at age three joining the Dixie Darlings cloggers at age six.

When she started college in Troy she began performing in hometown bars like The Double Branch Lounge in an effort to catch her big break.

Garrott said previous Double Branch owner, Mike Reeves influenced her love of the acoustic part of music and writing lyrics.

“As a singer it’s about affecting somebody else with your music,” she said. “It’s the power to affect people – that’s the coolest part.”

Since the songwriting bug bit her at 17, Garrott calls writing lyrics her therapy.
“It’s an amazing process to have an idea in your head and have it come to fruition,” she said.

Introduced to country music by her grandmother, Garrott’s musical tastes range from classic country to folk to blues.

Her favorite female singers cover a variety of musical tastes from Lorretta Lynn to Bonnie Raitt.

“The common thread is they’re strong women and it draws me to these ladies and their female empowering attitudes,” she said.

Traveling all over the United States, Garrott has opened for country music singers like Randy Travis, Lady Antebellum, Craig Morgan and Joe Nichols.

“It’s extremely nerve wracking and you have no idea who’s watching,” she said of opening for such well-known acts. “You have fight hard to win them (the crowd) over, but it’s extremely rewarding when you do.”

Though her nerves can take a plunge when opening for legendary names like Randy Travis, Garrott says she doesn’t usually get nervous.

“The only time I get nervous is when I’m performing a new song,” she said. “I’m nervous to how it will be received.”

Her favorite song on her debut is “Trouble is a Woman”

“It’s one of those ‘don’t worry I’ll get you back songs’ with an upbeat tempo,” she said.

Garrott defines her first album as traditional country, but said her upcoming album would have a bluesy edge.

“We’re working on the next album already,” she said. “We’re rushing like crazy to get the material to the fans because they want to know what you’ve been doing since the last one.

“It’s such an amazing process. The songs you’ve written coming to life and having musicians put their pizzazz on it.”

Garrott was able to attend the CMA luncheon and was nominated for CMA artist to watch in 2010.

“As an artist, you are nothing without your fans; you have no success without them,” she said. “You get to live your dreams and do what you do every day because of them.”

Pride in my county

2010-02-17T12:48:00.001-06:00

Recently, I had the pleasure of attending a drug program at Opp Middle School to take pictures and write an article for the Opp News. For those of you who don’t know what the program was about, I’m going to give you the lowdown.

The Drug Task Force agents along with Andalusia and Opp Police Departments, the Covington County Sheriff’s Office, and a local business (whom I can’t name for political reasons, but I’m sure people will figure it out as I go on) were responsible for putting together Kids Against Prescription Pills (K.A.P.P.).

This program is such a great opportunity for DTF agents to go to county schools and talk to middle schoolers about prescription drug addiction.

The first location I went to yesterday afternoon was devoted to facts. Straight up, cold, hard facts about what prescription drugs can do to a person – emotionally and physically. The kids were able to answer questions about what DTF agent David Harrell spoke on during his part of the program.

The second location was for speakers, Connie Messick and Lori Rickett, who were able to give students a first hand account of drug addiction. Connie was tearful as she told students about stealing from her son’s bank account just to get her prescription drug fix. She told the kids that she could no longer be a nurse and she couldn’t drive – and those were just two things that were as a result of her addiction.

Local radio celebrity, Blaine Wilson and local attorney and former University of Alabama football player, Corey Bryan spoke at the last location. They pushed the fact that the kids could be like them and do well without having to resort to taking drugs to get a high. They could be high on life and be successful just like these two guys have been.

I’m just so proud that our schools are concerned about the problem of prescription drugs. Yes, there have been some problems here – actually one resulting in an arrest here in Opp if memory serves. I believe these kids heard the message that was being drilled home yesterday. Assistant Principal, Shawn Short told me that several of the kids had tears after hearing Connie and Lori speak about their lives.

I’m proud that there are people (who shall remain nameless) who will look out for the best interests of our children.

This person, who I cannot name has been instrumental in putting together several of the drug programs in this county. I know he will keep striving to do what is best for the good of Covington County as he runs for office.

Being a writer

2010-01-08T10:49:00.006-06:00

I am a writer.

Yes, I know, that sounds a bit like I'm trying to tell you who I am and what I do. But that's not the case. I'm telling myself too. Sure, anyone can write a blog or a poem or even a short story. Many people can write books and never get published.

Me, I'm published - well not in the way that I want to be yet, but I'm making a point of getting there this year. Being a journalist is great, but being a writer would be so much BETTER. I'm not saying I'd sit at home all day and watch Days or The Young and the Restless. I'd sit home and write! I'd let the muse flow onto the page. I'd be able to let my mind take me to so many places if I could just sit in front of my laptop without anything else to do later and no distractions.

That's a bit of a hard order - no distractions. I'll get distracted by the TV more times than I can count - and yes, it's entirely my fault since I can't write without some kind of noise going on around me. It's like trying to sleep without the radio on - I just can't seem to do it - at least not all the time.

Music, television and movies inspire me the most. I still read occasionally and the authors I do read are really amazing. They write so well that I wonder if I'll ever get to be where they are. And here I go again doubting myself.

While I as in Pensacola for New Year's I went to Barnes and Noble (spent WAY too much money) and bought several books I needed for work and writing. I bought a book called Plot and Structure by James Scott Bell that I am going to DIVE into this weekend. I bought a new Associated Press Stylebook and a book on grammar and usage. So, I should be set, right? Just got to get in front of my computer and WRITE.

I am learning a lot about writing articles again. And trust me, it's different than writing a blog or a story. Basically you TELL in an article and in a story you SHOW. To me telling and showing are almost the same thing. And the thing that gets me still about article writing is that you have to tell before you quote - transitions will always kill me in articles, I think.

My goal for this year is to finish my first novel and finish some short stories to post on my writer's blog. I know I'm going to need lots of inspiration and encouragement. I know that I can do this. I know I can finish my novel and get it to publishers for publication by the end of the year. And if I don't - it's my own fault!

Turning 30 this year has made me realize that I want to do more with my life than write for a local newspaper. I want to have fans who come up to me and ask me to sign my book. I want fans who email me and tell me how much they enjoyed reading my book. I want fans to fall in love with my heroes and heroines and beg for more books on them.

Since I was 15 I've always dreamed of being a writer - so I think 15 years in the making, I should be getting close!

On another note, that doesn't relate to writing at all - I LOVE my church family. We might not be a big church at Mobley Creek, but we have some of the most caring people you will ever meet. I've had issues with my water, so I haven't had hot water for a few months now and a member of my church that I've known for a long time came to my house while I was at work and fixed my water regulator so I could have hot water. He had some help, but it's things like that - when you just tell someone you're having a rough time and don't ask them for help and they help you anyway without thinking of getting anything back. That's the most important lesson I've learned in recent years. Do it because you WANT to do something for someone, even if all you get out of it is a BIG thank you. These people are so wonderful. They have helped me through so many hard times in recent years. They've given me rides to work when I didn't have a car and they've shown me that even if you go away for a while and come back, they don't forget you.

I really do praise God for these wonderful people that I have the privilege to know. I thank the Father for their faith and their caring. God is good and his people are good. And I know this year will bring more goodness my way.

Keep me in your prayers as I'm still struggling with my writing. I have an appointment to see the doctor again on the 18th for my diabetes. I'm sure she's going to be a little upset with me since my weight loss seems to have leveled off where I am. And my sugar was a little bit high this morning after I'd eaten breakfast. But I'm hoping to get a team together here at the Opp News so we can participate in Scale Back Alabama. I'm looking forward to speaking with Patty, the dietitian over at the Mizell Wellness Center on Monday about this. And I'm hoping she can give me some tips on diabetic eating and such. I'll try to pass on the info on this blog when I get it so any of you can benefit from it as well.

I'm off to an awards ceremony that's going to take up a couple hours. Here's hoping my stomach doesn't start growling! :)

Blessings and joy!

2009-12-30T14:00:00.004-06:00

I have been so blessed this year that I don't know what to do with myself. Of course, most of my blessings came at the end of the year, but still, this year has been a good one.

One of the best things to happen for me this year has been getting a new job that lets me work better hours - and it's full time! Working in Opp has been great for the past month and I look forward to many more months here.

One of my blessings in disguise was finding out that I am diabetic. Having this happen at this point in my life has been hard, but I am able to deal with it fairly well. I have always known I would be at risk since my mother had diabetes. But being able to lose weight and really take a step back and look at what I am eating has really made a difference in my life. I'm not where I need to be by any means, but I am well on my way to where I want to go.

I couldn't tell you how many times I talked to my cousin and best friend, Mary Ann since she moved to Lakeland, but I can tell you I have talked to her more in the past 5 months than I have since they moved from Tuscaloosa. It is a blessing that she and I have gotten to be close again despite the distance that separates us. I am lucky to be able to be considered her daughter's aunt even though I'm not Mary Ann's real sister. I know in our hearts, we are and always will be sisters.

I'm blessed to have such wonderful people in my life. I know that I often take for granted the fact that I can go away and not be in church at Mobley Creek for a while and come back and still feel welcome. Though, we may not have a large congregation, it is one that I have come to know and love for a very long time. We are truly blessed to have a wonderful pastor - Terry Powell and I am proud to say that he is every bit a Christian outside the church doors as he is inside.

Writing has always been my passion - well probably since about the age of 15, I wanted to be a writer. I didn't think I was any good or that I might make it big and I still haven't, but I'm well on my way. I'm doing something I love. Talking to people and learning their stories always touches my heart and I am proud that I am gifted enough to do this job.

I think the Lord has truly blessed me with many wonderful gifts, which I know I take for granted. My singing and my writing are both gifts that I know he has given me to show others about my faith in him. I don't sing as much as I should, but I have rejoined the church choir and that is fulfilling in itself.

I don't know what I would do without my wonderful and supportive church family. They have been the ones that I have leaned upon and shared my troubles with over the past few years. They have never faultered in showing me they will do whatever they can to help. Isn't that the most wonderful thing?

I know this blog is jumping all over the place, but I really do have a great deal to be thankful for as 2009 comes to a close. I can only hope that 2010 brings even better things my way - despite the fact that I will be 30 in May.

I wish all of you the very best in the new year and I hope His blessings and goodness shine on you!

God Bless!
-Esther

All I want for Christmas is...

2009-12-17T14:09:00.001-06:00

By ESTHER TAYLOR
The Opp News
oppeditorial@centurytel.net

Reading through Dear Santa letters, for the paper, I start to get a little nostalgic. I think about when I was in first grade or second grade – which is over 20 years ago if you can believe it.
I remember wanting simple things, like Barbies and things to entertain me. Now, children have a host of electronic games that can entertain and educate. I think we were easier to please back then. Children today seem to want everything they see on television and Lord help us all if their best friend has something they don’t.
I think it’s important to remember to want more simple things for Christmas, but sometimes those things get lost in what we think we really want and need in our lives.
If I were to write a letter to Santa, it would go something like this:
Dear Santa,
I will not say that I’ve been very good this year. I’m sure I haven’t, but as far as nice goes, I think I’d be among the others on the ‘Nice’ list.
First of all, I would like world peace, but I do not want this at the cost of more lives. I would like for all of our troops to be able to come home for the holidays and be with their families. These courageous men and women have fought, bled and died for our country to be able to have the freedom to celebrate holidays and have the right to state our opinions. They should be able to come home after eight years over there fighting to keep the terrorists at bay.
Second, I would like for there to be no poverty. Everyone should have money in their pockets and a place to call home. I’m not saying this should be a free handout and I’m not saying those who already get government assistance should get off their butts and get a job instead of mooching off the hard working citizens of these United States. Actually, you know what, that IS what I’m saying. If you can work, if you’re physically and mentally able to keep a full time job, you should. No questions. And just because you have assistance from the government to feed your six kids, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t work to support your family further. Government handouts are not for people who sit on their butts and continue to take for granted that people like me help to pay for what you’ve got on your table. And I bet that it’s better than what I’ve got in my refrigerator at home right now.
Third, I would like for there to be a big deal about holidays that honor our fallen soldiers. These men and women gave their lives for us. Does anyone know what that means? That means these people willingly gave up their hopes and dreams and have stepped into the wars that have happened to ensure our survival as a great nation.
I know I’m asking a lot, but these are things our country needs to remember and fight for in the coming years.
Santa we need a little help, so if any of this could be accomplished, I know you’d be the first one to do it. It doesn’t matter if you’re real or not – if you’re real to hundreds of boys and girls across the world, that says something.
When we’re young, we have faith that you’ll bring us what we want. And sometimes we get it and sometimes we don’t. The point is, it’s important to believe in something, no matter what it is!
I know you’ll try your best to lend a helping hand.
Love,
Esther

P.S. If you find Christian Kane lying around somewhere, send him along too.

Holiday Thanksgiving

2009-12-14T10:46:00.001-06:00

With Thanksgiving having already passed and Christmas coming up, I’ve been thinking about what I’m most thankful for this year. I have so much to be thankful for. I have a wonderful, supportive family. I have a Savior who died to save a poor sinner like me. I have a great new job. I have wonderful friends, who are like family to me. I have food to eat, a car that gets me where I need to go, and a roof over my head.

I’m thankful for old friends who have come back into my life. I’m thankful that we can carry on as if no time has past. I am thankful that true friends never forget you and though time and space may separate you, you are always in each other’s hearts.

I am eternally grateful for my brothers and sisters in Christ. Without the prayers of God’s children, I know many of my own prayers would not be answered. I’m thankful for all the answered prayers for my health. I’m thankful for the answered prayer for a better job as well.

I am thankful for the time God allowed me to have my parents before He called them home. I am grateful for my mother’s faith in God and her teaching me about His love from a very young age. I know the reason I still have my faith is because of the example my mother set for me. I know later in her life, she couldn’t go to church because of her health, but she still would study her Bible on occasion. Her Bible, which I still have though it is now worn with care, has many notes and underlined passages. When I look through it, I can feel connected to her through the words of the Father.

I am thankful to those who inspire me to be creative and try to do more to better myself. I am glad the Lord above saw fit to put these people in my life as inspiration. I can only hope that I too can be an inspiration and example for someone one day.
Most of all, I am thankful to be alive and healthy enough to go to work. I may not like some of the aspects of my life, but I am always thankful to be alive.

As Christmas draws near, we need to be thankful for the real reason why we celebrate this holiday – our Lord Jesus.

So often we forget in our busy lives that it is He who guides us. He’s the Great Physician, Mighty Counselor, Lamb of God, Living Water, and so much more. He’s whatever we need, whenever we need it. Isn’t that so amazing? One person can be everything we need! All we have to do is remember it!

We have remember the reason we have what we have is because of Him. We have family to share the holiday with and we make precious memories that will last a lifetime, but we have to remember to be thankful for Him and what He has given to us.

Family history and good times

2009-11-15T05:06:00.007-06:00

Family! Wow. I really never realized how many people are in my extended family until yesterday.

We had our Ward reunion yesterday and seeing people I haven't seen in years makes me very happy and excited about the future.

Let me explain about my family and how I'm a Ward. My mom was a Ward before she married the first time. She married a Loften and then after he passed away, she married my father. My mom, Edna Earl Taylor nee Ward, was the youngest of three children born to Barnett Seth and Esther Vivian Ward. My grandfather, Barnett was the oldest of 10 children born to William Elias and Hattie Mae Ward. My great grandfather was a preacher and a very good man. I really wish I could have known him.

Those who gathered at the reunion are descendants of William Elias and Hattie Mae Ward nee Knowles. The ten children they had are as follows: Barnett Seth, James Worth, Lucy Elizabeth, William Elias Jr., Mildred, Myrtle Mae, Bessie, Richard Jackson, Wyley Donald, and Doyle Omega. My great grandfather was the son of John "Jack" and Lucy (Godwin) Ward. He was the fourth from the oldest of eleven children. All of this information can be found in my Uncle Donald Ward's book "The Folks from Pea Ridge."

Many of the family got together and made leaves for their families so we can put together a family tree. The kids colored them and several people filled out the information on the leaves. It was a great project that we will get to see flourish as the years go by. Many of the older children will get married and have their own leaves and own families added later on.

There were about 145 people at the old home place today. It's amazing to see the family's roots and hear stories about things that happened in days gone by. My great grandfather ran a farm, raised 10 children and preached the word through the Great Depression. From my Uncle Donald's pamphlet "Uncle Bill as I Knew Him," I've learned my great grandfather was a very giving man and also very intelligent. He was very open minded about religion and often spoke or sang in other churches.

There were 14 of us there from my granddaddy's side of the family. My granddady's children, Gloria, Clyde and Edna are all deceased now, but my Aunt Gloria's children are pictured here with her husband, Robert Gafford. From the back row are Angie Wright, Jason Wright and Ramona Wright. Second row from the left are Raleigh Gafford, Kelsey Bates, Robert Gafford, Regina Bates and Amber Wright. Third row from the left are Randi Sadler, Tyler Nellums, and Savannah (Jason's wife's daughter). Bottom row from left are Kaitlyn Bates and Lyndee Sadler. I'm hoping I have all of these last names right, but I'm going to double check later and make corrections as needed. I am the only one not in the picture and am the only child from my mom's branch of the family.

I have watched all of the kids grow up and I am starting to feel rather old now that they are almost grown. Kelsey is the oldest of the kids - she just turned 18 last month. Tyler is the second oldest and will be 16 in February. Kaitlyn is 13 and the twins, Randi and Lyndee just turned 12 this month.

Kelsey, me and Kaitlyn on the back porch at the old home place.

Tyler and me sitting in the kitchen at the old home place.

As I'm growing older, I've come to realize the importance of family history. You have to know your roots and where you've come from. My family has a lot of amazing history even if we aren't all famous or have life changing jobs. We have touched lives through the branches that spread out far and wide over the southern states. We've lost several great people in the past few years and though we might miss them, we carry on. We think of them and remember them when we gather together as a family and we share our memories of them and hold them dear in our hearts.

Moving on

2009-11-15T04:43:00.003-06:00

Sometimes you have to take a giant leap. It doesn't really matter what it's for - love, a new job, mankind, etc. If it's something worth the risk, you'll land on your feet.

My life has always felt like a whirlwind - being tossed around full of emotions I've bottled up and tried to hide. It's been one trial after another and here I am, still standing on my own two feet. Sure, there have been times when I've had to lean on someone for support. And of course, there are the times when God and my faith in Him have carried me through the rough spots. But through it all, I've been strong.

Life is about changes, whether they be good or bad. And my life is about to take another turn as I start to work at the Opp News on November 30th.

As most of you know, I've wanted to get back into reporting for a while. I've always thought about being Lois Lane at some newspaper somewhere. I know I'll never win a Pulitzer for anything I write, but writing about people who change lives makes it worth the effort. No matter if only 10 people read this blog or if it's 100, I know my words stand for something.

This decision to get back into writing for a newspaper has been weighing on me for some time. Now, I have the opportunity to do it and it's a little scary. I have faith in my abilities as a wordsmith, but I'm also a worrier. But I prayed about putting in my resume and portfolio and asked God to take care of the situation. It's amazing how God works. He helps us when we need it the most and this job is something I've needed for a while now.

I will be working for a once a week publication and getting 40 hours maximum a week. Benefits, which I've wanted and needed for a while now, will be available in 90 days as well as a 401K plan. I'm looking at being able to have a normal 8-5 job that will let me have more time with my friends and family. And with this schedule, I'll be able to attend church on Wednesday nights and take more trips to Pensacola and other places.

I'm excited and nervous about this big change in my life, but with the support of my wonderful friends and family, I know I'm going to make it. I don't want my life to be full of what ifs. And I want to finish my novels and short stories in the next few months.

I know this next journey in my life is going to leave me with more memories than I can count. I only hope happiness comes with this journey and that my writer's muse continues to give me inspiration through this transition.

Keep me in your thoughts and prayers. I know I have several of you in my prayers and always in my thoughts. I want to ask all of you to pray for Carrie Smith Fore's baby girl, Ella Charles. Visit her blog here to find out the story and how they are doing along the road God has led them. Also, I ask you to pray for my cousins, Mary Ann Knox and her brother Jonathan Grimes. As some of you know, Mary Ann is my best friend as well as my cousin. She's going through a pretty nasty divorce right now, but is making it through with the support of her family and some friends she's made in Lakeland, Florida. She has an almost two-year-old daughter, Ally and Ally is going through not having a father figure in her life. Pray all of this ends well for them and that they can move closer to home when it's over. Jonathan lives in Pensacola and we are just as close as I am with his sister. He's one of my best friends even though he's always been like a little brother to me. He's having thyroid problems, which result in migraines, so we are praying that the doctors can get that under control soon. He's had several other health issues, so we are praying that this won't develop into something more serious.

I love and cherish all of you and each uplifting comment that you make on this blog. I hope all of you are doing well. Take care and I hope to keep this blog more updated in the days and weeks ahead.

Faith can be enlightening

2009-08-24T04:06:00.004-05:00

Sometimes when the world comes tumbling down around you, you just have to go back to your child hood and have the blind faith of a child again. I'm talking about that faith and trust that our parents instilled within us - the kind that made us so innocent. Of course, having this blind fath and trust doesn't mean everything will automatically be flowers and candy. If we're at rock bottom, our faith tells us there's nowhere to go but up. Come what may, things will get better no matter how low we feel.

One thing I've learned is that change is constant. No matter if the change is good or bad, there's something going on in our busy lives. We may not always see or feel these changes, but they are there, pushing us onward.

These changes mold us into the people we are, no matter what age we are. Our friends, our co-workers, our family all mold and shape us in ways we can never fully understand. And when we lose faith and trust, we never see the faults within us - we place the blame elsewhere even when it's on us.

For those of us who have been hurt or been through loss, we start to wonder if we should put our faith in anything again. God doesn't always answer our prayers like we want Him to, but He does answer them based on our faith and strength in Him. Maybe our faith wavers in the bad times - or maybe it's stronger. And maybe we forget to have faith during the good times. But God forgives us when we doubt him.

We have to remember that even a small amount of faith can move mountains. As long as our faith is there, we can get through the hardships we have to face. And we can smile with joy in our hearts through the mountaintops God has blessed us with. Our trials, our mountains are there to help us be strong and once we make it to the top and start down the other side, we are able to enjoy the beauty that is God.

At the end of the journey, God always welcomes us home. He tells us "come to me all you who are heavy and laden and I will give you rest." He never fails us. He carries us when we think we can't go any more. He gives us the wonderful people in our lives who stand by us and offer us comfort and support. Without all the blessing of life that we are given each day, we would never wake up, breathe, walk, talk or feel. Even through our darkest hours, we have to have faith we'll make it through the storms of life.

I know faith isn't something we think about or talk about very often. We think more about love or trust, but when it comes down to it all three are connected. I know there are a handful of people I absolutely trust with my life. But those I do trust, are the most important people in my life. I might not always say I love them, but I hope they know I always will.

I think we get so busy that we forget those lessons our parents taught us about faith. That faith is a wonderful thing even in the worst of times. Faith, hope and love keep us balanced - one without the other in any form for ourselves, we lose out on having these for other people in our lives.

I know every time I lost someone - my father, my mother, my aunt, my uncle and even cousins - that my faith would waver. Like everyone else, I'd wonder why. Why couldn't there be a miracle for any one of them to still be here. But now, looking back, they were all miracles in my life. I was the miracle child for my parents. My mom was my best friend and example. Sure, her faith wavered, just as mine has done. She lost two husbands and had a child to raise alone. But she always showed me her faith in God was secure. My Uncle Clyde was always at church every time the doors were open. His faith and dedication in the Lord showed me so much though he lost both of his sisters. He pushed onward and looked after me as much as I looked after him. My Aunt Gloria was the same. Her faith knew no bounds.

I've seen people lose faith completely after losing a loved one. I've seen their faith increase during a battle with a serious illness. I've seen how families grow closer together after a loss and I've seen families torn apart. It's all about how they deal with the loss. Those with faith know they can make it through. I know for me it was the support from my family and friends and my faith in the knowledge that I will see my parents, aunt and uncle again that got me through the grief. Grief is overwhelming. It's possibly the hardest emotion to bear - even your body knows your heart and soul are being torn from the loss. The emptiness and numbness last for a long time and you are forever changed.

Though we know we can't live forever on this earth, each loss touches us. Death is final - but if we believe in God, it's only final for this earth. We may not fully understand what lies ahead after we leave this earth, but we know through our blind faith that it's better than all the toll and strife of this moral life.

Health update - a little late

2009-07-25T03:29:00.000-05:00

I feel like I've started to climb a mountain and I'm halfway to the top. What I mean by this is that in four months, I've lost 30 pounds and with the help of the diabetic pills, my sugar is now down to 127.

I know I've only just begun this journey, but I am very happy that I've lost weight slowly and safely and have gotten my diabetes under control. With prayers and a little luck, I'm hoping to be down to a size 18 or 16 (like I was in high school) by the time January rolls around. My next visit to see Doctor Smith is in January and I want to drop at least 30 more pounds. I'm being realistic and not saying 60 or even 50. But of course either of those would be great too. In 3 months I dropped another 17 pounds since I first blogged about being diabetic. That's not as grad as the 13 pounds I lost in the month after I was diagnosed, but I'm still very proud of myself. My doctor was also impressed so I keep doing what I've been doing since March. I watch my carb intake, I take my pill daily (when I remember), I try to get enough sleep, I drink either water or diet soda and I try to cook at home more.

The only bad news from my visit (at the beginning of the month) is that I have tendonitis in my elbow, which makes my entire right arm hurt from my neck down to my knuckles. I bought a brace for my wrist some time ago so I have it and a brace for tennis elbow. She told me that I needed a massage for my shoulder since it's so tense or a portable one if I can find one. My job stresses me out sometimes and so does life in general, but I need to learn to let go sometimes. I bought some Epsom salt to soak my elbow, though I've only done it once. It still aches, but as long as I do work where I have to move my elbow and wrist often, I don't think it will get any better. I try to rest it at night when I get home when I get home from work and if it aches or shoots a sharp pain, I try to work it out.

Since I last wrote, I had my 29th birthday and I spent half of it in Pensacola with my cousin, Jonathan and the other half at work. It feels weird being this close to 30, which goes to prove that time flies when you aren't paying attention. It's not like when we were kids, so I guess I've gathered a little bit of patience along the way.

I'm still trying to finish my novel, but I always try to keep the creative juices flowing by writing everyday. I roleplay online with friends, so I write everyday. I write third person or first person when I make a journal entry for one of my characters. I sometimes want to take a break, but I always keep getting pulled back in. The games are fun - cool ideas with lots of people to write with. It's like writing a story with a partner - going back and forth, to and fro in your character's point of view. I love it - mainly because I get to be someone I'm not and I get to write out emotions and feelings that my character needs to express. But I think I love the interaction most of all because I get to be social online even if I hardly get the chance in real life.

I hope all of you are doing well. I've been really horrible about reading blogs lately. Hopefully work will get less hectic soon and I'll be able to catch up with all of you soon.

Health update

2009-04-08T20:01:00.000-05:00

Okay guys. I went to the doctor today and got my report.

....

Here we go. Last month, my sugar was at 303 and today it was to 136. Great! Still have to take the pills, but keep doing what I've been doing. I also lost 13lbs! This made me excited! Just think that much every month and I'll be down under 200 by the time I see the doctor again in 3 months. I showed my doctor the spot on my leg that I forgot about last time. She says it's psoriasis, but that it sometimes happens with diabetics. I've had this spot for about a year if not more. She gave me a prescription cream that I'm going to fill tomorrow with my diabetes pills. It bites having to wait to get paid to pay for these as I still don't have any insurance. My boss is aware that I'm diabetic but still she won't put me on insurance. I guess I'm not worth it. Ah well. New job or book published this year - that's another one of my goals.

I went to church tonight - since I had the night off, which was odd. I asked they pray for me since all of this is hard and I'm struggling with not going back to the way I was. But with everyone's prayers and my not wanting to be on insulin, I know I can do it!

I hope all of you are doing well. Happy Easter! Eat some Cadbury Eggs for me!

Blessings come in small doses

2009-03-27T03:18:00.000-05:00

I know I just posted a new blog, but I wanted to keep my "column" separate from my really personal updates.

Things are going pretty well. I'm still struggling with my eating habits. I miss bread!!! Of course, who doesn't cheat. I know I have. And I've limited my bread intake to once a week. Plus, regular sodas are down to once a week as well. I'm trying to drink more water and diet sodas. It's hard, but I'm making it. I'm also trying to eat more veggies, which is odd for me since I'm always getting something on the go before work. You guys would be surprised how many total carbs and calories fast food places have!! I got a book a while ago with all of that kind of info and I'm really using it now. :)

My sugar levels have been decent lately, but not perfect. I've had a few days when they've been on track, but only once when it's been at 200. At least most days it's close to the max after eating, even if I haven't eaten yet. That's progress at least! I'm proud of myself for doing this. And I'm hoping that with controlling my diet and taking the pills the doctor prescribed, that I'll be able to lose some weight and get healthy. That's something that I've been needing to do for a while now. My weight has gotten completely out of control. I haven't weighed myself since I went to the doctor, but my jeans are getting seriously baggy. I take that as a really good sign!

I spoke to my sister (half-sister from my dad's first marriage, but to me she's my sister no matter what) through email and she told me that my mom got diabetes just before she got pregnant with me. I'm going to double check on that with my Uncle Robert when I get a chance to talk to him. He caught me at the mailbox last week and I told him that I'm type II diabetic. Just knowing when and how mom got through being diabetic will help me, I'm sure. I remember watching her take shots twice a day and checking her sugar twice a day. I remember watching my Aunt Dot (my mom's best friend) do the same thing. I don't want to end up having more problems because of this disease and I do want to have children some day. I want to get it under control, along with my high blood pressure and my weight. My sister told me that blood pressure problems, spider veins on the legs, and heart problems run on my dad's side of the family. Ulcers, heart problems, asthma and diabetes are on mom's side. Plus, I'm still mildly anemic.

I want to get in better health so I can donate blood. I found out the first time I tried to donate that I have a rare blood type. I can't remember if it's AB neg or AB pos, but it's one of the two. I'll have to check with my sister and see what she has and what my dad had. I can't remember if the kid's supposed to have mom's blood type or dad's. That show's how much I payed attention in class, doesn't it?

I told my boss this week about my diabetes and what I'm going through. Hopefully, less stress will follow after Monday's over. We publish our Profile section - which comes once a year - on Tuesday. I know God has better things in store for me. I only hope that things will work out soon so I can find a job I'm more suited for. I want to write! And if I have to move to make that dream a reality, I'll do it! I just finished reading a really wonderful book on this kind of topic - The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho. It has really helped me to think about my dreams and hope that I can work toward them. I can't give up my dreams because I'm at a stand still. I have to do something about them or they'll never come true! If you haven't read this book and you're looking for some way to get back on the path, I'd recommend this book! It's really simple and it does have some religious/spiritual parts to it. I'm definitely going to re-read it before it has to go back to the library next week and when I get a chance, I'll definitely buy it! (Plus, it's my favorite guy's favorite book - Christian Kane!)

I'm trying to think of more interesting things to tell you guys, but I'm out of things to say. I hope all of you are doing well! I want to congratulate Carrie on getting a job after months of searching! This really shows how God works in our lives and answers the prayers of His children! I'll be trying to catch up on other blogs this weekend at work where I can look at pictures without killing my dialup.

Take care and God Bless!

Heroes live on through us

2009-03-27T02:47:00.000-05:00

Two years ago last month, I lost one of my real life heroes. My real life hero wasn't a medical doctor, a pastor, a singer or an actor. He had a monotone voice when he spoke in class, but the days when he dressed up as Julius Caesar or Shakespeare were days you knew you should stay awake.

I had no idea what I wanted to do with my college education, but with a great adviser, came a great mentor and a father figure who was always there to lend a hand any way he could. My days at LBW were the best because of the man who I've come to think of as my personal hero.

Mike "Doc" Daniel wasn't your typical adviser or history teacher. Doc was extraordinary - a wonderful professor to do work-study under and a mentor to every student could help. He might have gone to extremes to get the attention of his class and was too kind with extra credit movies for his Western Civ II classes.

As Doc's work-study, I learned that most geniuses have too much stuff for their offices. i learned that being shy was not a good quality if I wanted to be a lawyer, which prompted me to shift my degree to journalism. I know I learned more from Doc than from any of my other teachers because he was such an exceptional mentor. His dry humor, costumes, and goofy grin will always be missed by his students and those who came to know him so well.

There are no words to really say all that Doc was, so I'll just talk about two of my favorite "Doc moments."

I was part of Circle K when I was at LBW. There were only a few of us, but I was always at every meeting. On awards night, just before graduation, Doc asked me to be there and "dress nice." Of course, I had no idea what was going on. That night, I received a plaque for Outstanding Member of Circle K. I'd never really received recognition for anything - unless you count third grade when I got first place and $25 for a poster contest. What made the award even more special was the fact that Doc was the one who presented it to me. I'm glad that I have that memory and photos of that night along with graduation.

My two years at LBW were the best. I made it through the required courses and some amazing classes that I'll never forget. Doc's Ethics and Government classes were definitely among those. Even through the loss of my uncle and having my heart broken, I had the best times of my life at LBW.

My second favorite Doc moment was when I'd been told to interview someone for one of my journalism classes at Troy (State) University. Doc was my first choice. I couldn't tell you what the class was (probably interviewing) or who the professor was (probably Dr. Padgett or Mr. Spurlock), but I remember the conversation with Doc.

We sat down in his cluttered office with a tape recorder, pad and pencil. I had ten questions to ask - mostly centered on his schooling and degrees. I'll never forget my "bomb" question because I had to keep a straight face when I asked him. My last question was out there. I asked if he'd ever been propositioned by a student and if he'd ever gone beyond the student/teacher relationship with any of them.

I'll always cherish the memory of that interview - learning all the things I'd never asked Doc when I was his work-study. And I'll always fondly remember Doc for putting me on the path to being a writer/journalist.

I have so many more reasons for why Doc is my real life hero. Doc never failed to give of his time or even his money when it was really needed. He was one of those rare people who always considered others before himself. For that, and for always being a pleasure to work for, Doc is my hero.

I know so few of us recognize those who have touched our lives while they're here to taid us in our trials and tribulations. I know this is so true for me. We get so busy with our lives and work that we forget to send messages to those we care about and those who have touched our hearts. I regret not keeping in touch with Doc as I should have, but life just got in the way and then I ran out of tomorrows to chat with him.

Tell your real life heroes that you admire them and thank them for touching your life. You never know when that next tomorrow might never come.

An update on me

2009-03-10T02:48:00.000-05:00

In my last post I didn't know anything specific because I hadn't been to the doctor yet.

So here's what's going on with me. I knew I had a kidney infection, which the doctor confirmed and thankfully through the antibiotics I'm all well on that point. My mother had diabetes and had to be on insulin shots, so I knew I was at risk to have diabetes as well. I've just been waiting for the shoe to drop on it - well Thursday the doctor had the nurse check my glucose levels - and it was bad. Not as bad as it could have been, but still enough to diagnose me with Type II diabetes. I know I can deal with this, but it's been very hard. With being sick while the kidney infection was knocked from my system, I didn't really eat much, but now I can't have bread or anything "sweet." Now, the sweets aren't too bad of a thing to say no to - I can have fruit. The bread on the other hand is VERY hard to give up. But it's only for a month until I have to go back and see how I'm doing. When she tested me my glucose level was around 300 - that's over twice what it should be after eating. Needless to say, I need to make some changes.

I'm on a pill, not a shot right now and I'm supposed to check my glucose level every other day. I checked it yesterday and it was down to 264, which is better. Let's hope it keeps dropping! The doctor gave me samples of the pill I am taking and a prescription for another pill for 3 months. I'm hoping that what she told me about the prescription will help me lose some weight - I'm seriously in need of losing over 100 lbs at this point.

I know I don't want to have to go on the shots of insulin and that I do want to lose some weight and be healthier. But the stress of my job (which has gotten moreso lately because of my not feeling 100%) is not helping at all. Here's hoping that things turn around on that front. The doctor thinks most of what is happening with my health is stress related. And there's more stress to come this month - but after it's over things should get better for a little bit.

So, I still need you guys to keep me in your thoughts and prayers as I go through this. I have people that I know who deal with diabetes every day, so I have friends and family to talk to about it. But I know how much easier it would be if my mom were here to help me through this. And going through this makes me miss her more than I have in a very long time. But I know with the prayers and my faith in God, I can make it through.

Love you all!

Prayers needed

2009-03-05T04:26:00.000-06:00

Hi guys. Personal post this time. I'm having a few personal problems - health problems and work issues that I need to decide about very soon. I'm asking you guys to lift me up and pray for me. I know what the power of prayer can do. I know that God listens to His children when they are humble before Him. I know I'll be getting down on my knees this week and asking Him for guidance in these decisions I need to make.

I hope all of you are doing well. I will be posting more Top 3 blogs soon!

Top 3 people I'd love to meet

2009-02-28T02:42:00.002-06:00

I've decided to do a little something different with my blog for the next couple of weeks. I'll be doing a Top 3 or 5 every week and making and making personal posts in between. I want to invite my followers to submit things they'd like to see as well. I have a list of about 10 as of now and will be using them until they run out.

My first list came to me when I was trying to think of five people I'd love to meet in real life. Unfortunately, I could only come up with four, so I'll include the last one in this blog as a bonus.

Top 3 people (alive) that I'd really like to meet:
1. Christian Kane
2. Joss Whedon
3. Sherrilyn Kenyon

I'm sure you're looking at these names and wondering who they are, so I'll do a little intro on them to help you out. Then I'll tell you why I want to meet this person.

Christian Kane

Christian has played many roles since he first began acting. His most recent role is that of Eliot Spencer on TNT's Leverage. But most of us remember his role as bad boy lawyer Lindsey McDonald on Angel - the spin-off of Buffy. He's also made appearances in Dawson's Creek, Las Vegas, and a short lived series called Close to Home. You've probably glimpsed him in movies like Secondhand Lions, Taxi, Friday Night Lights, Just Married and Life or Something Like It.

This soon-to-be 35-year-old is talented in several ways that have people following him on every venture he sets out on. Not only is Christian a soulful country boy actor, he's also a singer and songwriter. Though the band Kane is now under Christian's solo name, he and friend, Steve Carlson have written several Americana/Country songs. The song More Than I Deserve was actually in Christian's movie The Crooked E: The Unshredded Truth About Enron and Sweet Carolina Rain was the song that Christian sings as he walks down the hall to his hotel room.

The reasons I want to meet Christian are many, but mostly I want to meet him because he's never given up on his dreams. He left home to go to LA to pursue his acting and though he's still not as famous as some actors, he's stayed around, making a name for himself. Through all of his hardships in the business, Christian has always pushed through with the unending love and support from his mother.

With his talents, his laid back style, and his country boy attitude, I know that Christian is an excellent person to know and be around. Just the easy way he makes himself humble - thanking people and being polite - he's one of those guys I can honestly say "his momma raised him right!"

Joss Whedon

If you haven't been watching television for the past 10 years, you probably don't know this guy. For those of you who can't place him, think Buffy the Vampire Slayer! Writer, Director, Producer - Joss Whedon is obviously a jack of all trades kind of guy. So, unless you've been living under a rock, you know who this guy is. For you rock dwellers, I'll give you the bio. Joss is the creator and writer and often director/producer for such shows as Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Angel, Firefly and most recently Dollhouse. He's written for the tv show Roseanne, where he got his start. Joss is famous for his quick wit and rewrites of scripts such as Speed.

Joss is one of the funniest, most gracious people that have the luck to become great and work with great people. There are so many reasons why I'd love to meet this man - he's smart, talented and the world's best boss to those he directs. For all the shows he's done, Joss has put his mark on them, showing us his funny side as well as his serious side. He's written things that have made us think about things. He's made supernatural beings become our best friends and people that we can related to - he made Buffy a girl we could all want to be like. He made Angel the dreamy, brooding guy that girls would love to go out with - despite his "problem" of being cursed with a soul. All of these are great reasons why I'd love to meet this man. He's a legend who has created pop icons for us to follow and grow attached to. That's why he's great.

Sherrilyn Kenyon

Sherri is one of my very favorite supernatural erotic authors. She's known for her Dark Hunter series, which includes the Dream Hunters and other interesting supernatural characters. The series is known for its twist on Greek mythology and Artemis being the "bitch goddess" who turns another god into a servant she can control - only she makes the mistake of betraying him. Acheron becomes more powerful than her - gaining his own powers as the Destroyer - the last living god of Atlantis. Her writing style and her ability to draw in her readers are things that make Sherri's books go to the bestseller's list.

Sherri's way of interacting with her fans and love of writing have made me want to write even more. To be able to meet someone who inspires you is one of the greatest things you can ever do.

All of these people inspire me in their own ways and I'd love to meet them and tell them how they've touched my life.

The fourth person I'd love to meet should be obvious since he wasn't on the list of the top 3. In high school I became a big Smashing Pumpkins fan. Billy Corgan became one of the heroes of my life through his music. I'd love to meet him because he's inspired me on so many levels. He's kept going even though the band broke up - and he's always kept on writing. That's the kind of people that inspire me.

I hope you guys have found this amusing at the least. It's way past bedtime and I've got a headache. Sweet dreams and happy thoughts for the future - maybe I'll actually meet these people in real life one day!

ETA: I knew I should've done this when I was more awake and when I was at work because the pictures really slowed down my connection and made me have several typing errors. I hope you guys enjoy these! Look for the next one tonight or tomorrow!

Family and inspiration

2009-02-22T02:11:00.000-06:00

Tonight while I was driving home from work, I was thinking about all those profile sections that Troy, Brewton and Atmore have been doing in the past few weeks. I know ours for the Star-News is coming up and of course I was thinking about who would make the best stories. Naturally most profile stories are about people - feature stories on people who have impacted the communty.

So, I came up with the three people who have been inspiration in my life.

The number one inspiration on my list would be my mother, especially since she raised me on her own since I was six. My mother was always there for me, even when I wasn't the best daughter. She raised me in the church, taking me to Sunday school and Vacation Bible School throughout my young years. She taught me about God and Jesus and how to always put my faith first and trust in God. Through all her trials, my mother was strong. She went through losing my father, back surgeries, and a stroke that eventually led to her leaving this world.

My second inspiration would be my Uncle Clyde - my mom's brother. Those of you who have known me for a long time probably remember my Uncle Clyde. He lived with us all of my life and he was the one person that was constantly there for me after my mother passed away. He and I were close and we took care of each other - more me taking care of him since he only had an eighth grade education. He went to church every Sunday and was there for every service. He enjoyed singing in the choir, though he couldn't really read that well, he knew almost every song in the hymn book. Uncle Clyde was with me through my first year of college and in the fall of 1999, he fell on a fishing trip and broke his hip. He underwent a hip replacement and complications set in. He went to USA hospital in Mobile to have his stomach removed and never came home.

My last inspiration would be my Uncle Robert. I know I don't talk about him much and there have been times when I deeply dislike him, but he is a great man. He has always put his faith in God first and led his family from his study of the Bible. My Uncle Robert and Aunt Gloria moved from Pensacola in 1995 to Andalusia so they could become my guardians. I know it was a hard transition for my Aunt Gloria, who loved the city. But it was never a hardship for Uncle Robert. He loved the country - and the country life. He loved the old home place - "the country house" that belonged to my grandparents. He still lives there to this day - even though he's well over eighty. He and Aunt Gloria made Andalusia their home and Mobley Creek their home church. Uncle Robert willingly took over Sunday school duties and leading the choir. If anyone in my life knows God's unfailing wisdom and will, it is my Uncle Robert. Uncle Robert knows the Bible better than anyone else I know. He has notebooks full of notes on every book in the Bible that he uses for his Sunday school classes. He never fails to go to church every time the doors are open. Through his trials and the loss of my Aunt Gloria, he has always been strong. He has had a mild heartattack and does not hear so well anymore, but still he presses toward the mark - to the high calling of God.

These inspirational people have touched my life and have made me the person I am. They have taught me to always be strong and even through my faith wavers at times, to always keep God in my life to guide me.

It's my life...and what's going on...

2009-01-31T21:48:00.000-06:00

I'm a crappy updater, but I figured it's time. Right now I'm sick - allergies and weather changing is getting me all messed up. Other than that things seem to be going okay. I'm hoping to get a short story published soon, but I won't know anything until much later next month if it goes in or not. It won't be much for payment, but it'll be a start in the right direction.

Jonathan's been going through a lot lately. He called me frantic the other night and I didn't get his call until two hours later. He's got an ulcer from all the stress he's been under. So keep him in your prayers (and me! that I get over this cold quickly). He's stressed big time right now because of a lot of stuff that's going on with the DoD and the Navy. I can't really say what, but it still looks like he'll be going away to basic training at some point.

Work is the same. I'm sick of it, but I still have to make a living. I've learned some HTML and CSS, so I know pretty well how to make a webpage. It's interesting what makes a webpage work, but I wouldn't want to sit around doing it all day. Here's hoping I get a little bitty raise for my trouble.

I'm so glad I finally got my car fixed. I don't know if I mentioned that in previous posts, but I'd had problems with the heater core for over a month. It's a blessing to have it fixed with the cold weather that's coming our way. Now I can turn on my heater and be warm while I'm driving home.

I've been talking to a very sweet guy I met online - just online chatting and emails so far. I'm not hoping for much - just some new friends would be great. I'm so busy and not very social these days, that it's impossible to get to know someone unless they email/chat/call me regularly. Yes, I know I'm horrible! I can't help it. I'm trying to keep up with everyone better one step at a time.

I just found out recently - because I was putting up the obits on Star News website - that my best friend from high school's dad passed away. Brandi and her family have been distanced for a while, so I have no idea if she came home or not. I really do hope so. I know her mom and her sisters probably need her right now.

I've got things to do besides sit here and blog, so I'd best get on with it. I hope all of you are doing well.

~ Esther

A historical day: Obama sworn into office

2009-01-20T22:01:00.000-06:00

Today, January 20, 2009 was one of the most historical days America has ever known as a nation. We have successfully put the first African-American president into the highest office of this nation. He is now our commander in chief, the head of our armed forces and the leader of our nation.

Though I still have my concerns about President Obama, I feel more secure in the fact that he is looking out for our best interests. He wants this country to be great again - just like every American wants. And that is enough for me to stand up and get behind him as president.

We know that change needs to occur. And we should know that change does not occur over night. Sometimes it takes months and even years and decades before change is sufficient enough to notice. But I believe if we all stand up and let our opinions be known and show this president that we want our nation to be one of the best in the world - he will help us to achieve that collective goal.

Over the past 100 years we have seen many changes for the better. We have seen slavery be outlawed. We have seen African-Americans be given the rights to vote. We have seen women take on more roles than just being homemakers - and the big right to vote and make the choice about their bodies through abortion rights. I agree with all of these changes. I am glad they happened. I'm glad we are no longer segregated by the color of our skin and that we can come together as many Americans did on this day and watch as our 44th president is sworn into office.

This is a day that we will remember for the rest of our lives - because we were the first to do it. And when change has come, when things get better in the next four years, maybe we will finally be ready for a female president.

I am proud of our country. I'm proud that so many people came together to celebrate this day - a day of change.

To quote President Obama from his inauguration speech: "For we know that our patchwork heritage is a strength, not a weakness. We are a nation of Christians and Muslims, Jews and Hindus — and non-believers. We are shaped by every language and culture, drawn from every end of this Earth; and because we have tasted the bitter swill of civil war and segregation, and emerged from that dark chapter stronger and more united, we cannot help but believe that the old hatreds shall someday pass; that the lines of tribe shall soon dissolve; that as the world grows smaller, our common humanity shall reveal itself; and that America must play its role in ushering in a new era of peace."

We must do whatever we can to bring peace and pride back to our country. And we must do whatever we have to do to make this country stable again. Our economy needs a turn around and we have to step up - we have to have more jobs created and more resources to make this economy grow again.

Here's hoping the next four years are as good as we all hope they are.

Life isn't like what you read in books...

2009-01-17T21:10:00.000-06:00

Life has been...well, busy lately. I've still been working a whole lot. Yes, this job keeps me busy and so do all of my online friends. I roleplay a good bit and that keeps me entertained. I'm writing a book - well, still working on finishing a book is more like it. I'm just about done - just need to get the plot finished. And I'm working on a story for an eBook an online friend is collecting stories for - well stories to consider. I hope mine makes it, but I don't have high hopes right now. There are people out there far more talented than I am.

My writing has gotten much better in the past few years. I think roleplaying helps a good deal - getting to write a story with someone else and seeing yourself in that character doing every action they do is really fulfilling. If I can just get a beta for my short story and a good beta that I trust for my book, I think I'll be on the road to being a real author.

I'm proud that I wrote 50k in 30 days, but I know I'll be even prouder when I can have it finished to start sending to publishers. I really want to have something I'm proud of in book form - even if very few people will actually read it. I've always been a dreamer. I've always had things in my head - pictures of events and people and I know that's why I've always been writing. Journalism was just another way to write, but I want to be creative when I write. Sure, being a reporter can help with that, but you've got to make it interesting and hook in your readers - and trust me, there are NOT any journalists here at the paper now that can do that - well save maybe one (our copy editor). Human interest. Features. Telling something isn't how to hook someone - you have to SHOW them what happened so they can picture it. Yes, that's the way to go.

Okay. I'll stop being a writer now and let you guys know I'm still alive even if I'm getting a little bit sick right now. I know it's because I've been driving around in my car without heat for over a month and because I go from a heated room to a colder room every night. Plus, allergies aren't fun right now with all the weather changes. Here's hoping the weather will make up it's mind for the next few months. But hey, who knows. We could have snow in south Alabama! lol

I hope all of you are doing well. My resolution for this year is to keep in touch with more people by reading their blogs or whatnot. So I'm going to strive to get on MySpace more and try to check Blogspot better. I really have enjoyed catching up with everyone that blogs. I find it's really nice to be able to write about your day and let people read about the things you're doing. It's a great way to get encouragement and communicate.

Esther is very bored...lol

2009-01-12T17:26:00.000-06:00

Here I am bored at work again and I know there's about 10 things I'd rather be doing or should be doing. I should be working on my book or the short story I started to submit to a friend for an ebook. Of course, those things are on my personal computer at home and I'm at work so I can't do anything with them right now.

I know I should probably update my journals on LiveJournal and InsaneJournal, but I'm not in the mood. Besides, there's not much new with me anyway, so I figure I'll save people the trouble of reading "blah, blah, blah" all over again.

Don't get me wrong, I love that I have a job, but sometimes it's not all it's cracked up to be. Especially the pay and all the things I usually have to do in my day before I get to go home around midnight or 1 a.m. I'm grateful that I can get out of bed and come to work and that I do have some pretty amazing people to work with. But sometimes I just have those days where I look at my life and think "why am I still here?" or "why am I still doing this?" Come Saturday the 16th, I will have my 3rd anniversary with the newspaper. Yep. 3 whole years I've been here. Who knows, I may be here another two years or I may find my niche in the writing world in two months. No one knows. I go wherever life takes me. I let God guide me and hope for the best.

As inauguration day draws nearer, I still wonder if this country is ready for the changes Obama is proposing. I wonder if they are for the best - if these changes will take us deeper into depression or if we will come out of it quicker in the long run. Will our health care really be reformed? Will we have free clinics and free insurance for those who don't have it? Will the government give us more money back when we file our taxes? Will other nations look at us and be proud or are we giving them a reason to attack us by our choice in president? These are the questions still floating in my mind as the day draws nearer and we will put our 44th president into office. I can only hope and pray and put my faith in God that our country will go forward instead of back.

Now, I've found something to occupy my time until something else comes in. I hope all of you are doing well. I spoke with Karen last night for a few minutes and it was good to catch up with old friends. I'm doing my best to keep in touch with everyone, but with my work schedule it's become very hard to socialize at all. Take care all!

Blogging for the sake of bloging

2009-01-02T20:39:00.000-06:00

Wow. Two blogs in one day?! Esther must be bored - and yes, I am by the way.

I always seem to be stuck at work these days, so hey, why not make the most of it by blogging, eh?

I spent the day today in Pensacola with my cousin, Jonathan. I am as proud of him as I would be of a brother - we're that close. We talk often and he's the most amazing 22-year-old I know right now. He's going into the Navy in March to work with the Department of Defense or at least that's what I think he said. (Will clarify if I'm wrong in a future post.)

Jonathan is a very smart and articulate person. He plays the piano and organ. He's held a job since he was fifteen and though he dropped out of school at sixteen, he went to LBWCC and got his GED. Now, he's almost finished with PJC after several years of trying to finish up two years of college. I'm so proud of him and his GPA is more amazing than mine was in college. He's part of a business honor society and is hoping that he can get his associate degree before he ships off for basic training. But he still has to find out if it's possible.

I know I will miss him while he's gone, though I will be able to write him letters. Jon has been the one constant person in my life. Even though Mary Ann (his sister) and I have been friends since we were children - we have drifted apart and Jon is the one who has come in to take her place. I can talk to him when there is no one else to talk to and it makes me feel good to know he's there when I need him.

As for my book, it is going to take more time than I thought. Maybe not the finishing up bit, but the editing enough to send to publishers is going to take a great deal of time. For those of you who are curious, it is a paranormal romance - dealing mostly with vampires and a bit with werewolves. There is a love story going on throughout the entire thing, which is written in first person. I have dreamed ideas that came from mythology - Greek and Roman and I have probably confused myself more than once on the idea of gods and goddesses and God. One of my heroes, who will have his own book is deeply religious (in the Christian sense). And the tale of how the vampires came to be is a little confusing to him because of his faith. I am sure I deal with a lot of things that people sometimes don't want to deal with - losing the one you love to someone else, finding out a shocking truth, and then there's always the big betrayal. Sometimes these come out of my experiences and sometimes I simply dream them up. I think the series would be great since it's pretty different than anything I've read before. We will see what happens. I've got an idea for a teen novel about a boy who travels back in time to save a girl from dying. It might come to life at some point. I'm simply proud of myself for writing 50k in 30 days.

Well, it's back to work or back to finding something to do around here while I wait on sports to get finished so I can go home. :) I hope you all are having a wonderful Friday and that you have a wonderful weekend! RTR! (if we can win the Sugar Bowl!!!)

Happy New Year!

2009-01-02T08:16:00.000-06:00

Just nine years ago we were frightened about going into the new millennium, but now here we are in 2009 and we're still going strong. Our nation may not be the most secure place to be right now, but we're still here - even through a recession. Our nation is still one of the best places to live and with a new president-elect going into office in just 18 days, we're going new places we've never been before.

I'm excited about this year. Mostly because I hope it's a new beginning for me and because I know we are taking a new turn in our nation with the first African American president. I'm anxious and excited to see what Obama will accomplish in this great nation we live in. I know it can't be worse than the last 8 years with Bush - which weren't all bad - we did get a stimulus check that we all desperately needed.

Mostly I'm excited about this year because I will attempt to be a published author by the end of the year. I'm really hoping to finish my novel by the end of January since I have been slacking this December. It's something I've been working on since I was 15 and something that has taken many turns and twists as the characters have come alive on the page. I have simply let them guide me and take me on this journey and I have come through NaNoWriMo with over 50k and still going.

Sometimes I do have my doubts about being a writer, but then I sit here and think about what else I could be doing. There's nothing else I would rather do if I'm completely honest with myself. Sure, I could be an English teacher, but I'd much rather be a writer. I'm no journalist - I'm no Lois Lane by a long shot - investigative reporting is still alive in the bigger cities, but in Andalusia, there's no use. The biggest story we've broken was the money scandal in the probate judge's office. Wow.

Let's all try our best in 2009, no matter what resolutions we've made. My only resolution is try to keep in touch with everyone a little better than last year. I want to make time for friends and family instead of keeping to myself so I can get back into the world a little more.

Here's hoping 2009 is the best year yet!

Things about me and the holiday season

2008-12-18T18:38:00.000-06:00

Hi guys! Now that I have some new followers, I suppose it's time to write a regular blog.

I ran into Lori, a friend from high school, at Corner Market tonight and found out she and a bunch of my other high school friends have blogs on here. So, I'm attempting to let you guys know what's going on with me - which, by the way, is a big nothing.

I'm still working at the Andalusia Star-News and I fear I will be there for may more years. I have been working on finally writing a book and I am over halfway finished with it. I simply have to finish up the ending and wrap up the plot. I wrote for NaNoWriMo last month and wrote over 50,000 words. I'm rather proud of myself for doing this. This is the first time I've written anything over 11,000 words. I'm just hoping my plot works out - so far I've simply let the characters carry me wherever they want to go. It's worked out well. I'm hoping to be in the stage of editing by January - that is, if I can finish writing by then. I'm hoping to get a series deal, but I'll cross that bridge when I get to the point of sending off samples to publishers.

Mostly, my life revolves around work, sleep and writing - which is kind of sad, but that's what it takes to get by right now.

If you guys need get in touch with me, send me an email or leave me a comment. I check my email often - and have it open at work.

The holidays are coming closer. Just a week off and I'm not sure where I will spend it this year. My cousin and best friend, Jonathan, has joined a government program and I am not sure if he will be coming home for Christmas or not. I hope so. I would like to see him before he goes off to train because he will be out of contact for at least 6 weeks. I will get to see Mary Ann, Doug and Ally this Christmas at least. I have not seen Ally since she was around three months or so. She just had her first birthday last month and I am looking forward to seeing my niece and my cousin for Christmas. Presents aren't even in the plan this year - except for what I get for Ally. All of us are suffering from the economy and low paying jobs. Hey, at least mine pays more than minimum wage, but without insurance it's a bit hard to do much of anything still.

In the coming year, I am hopeful that I will either find a better job, get something more out of the job I have or become a published author. Any of these will make me happy and that's all I want for the new year - to be happier than I am right now.

I wish all of you the same - a Happy and Bright New Year and a wonderful Christmas!

Acceptance and Defeat in the Presidential election

2008-11-07T00:08:00.000-06:00

First off, I want to say that this blog is not meant to offend anyone, it is simply my opinion on the recent presidential election. Secondly, I did not get to watch debates from either of the candidates as I was working. So, this is based on commercials, coverage I got to see of the race, and the things I have read online.

I just read John McCain's concession speech and I find it uplifting despite the loss for the Republican party. McCain was very gracious in his defeat, but his supporters did not seem to take it as well as he did.

My hope is that after the dust settles, all of the McCain-Palin supporters will rally to the side of our new president. Because it is a historic event. And we are all a part of it no matter who our vote was cast for. The American people spoke and this was their decision - that Barack Obama be our first black president.

Barack Obama's acceptance speech proves that he is an excellent speaker - perhaps only saying what the American people want to hear. I don't say this because I do not believe in him as president. I say this because I know over the past years that I have been able to vote - we have not seen change. We have not had a president in office who has kept his word. That took his campaign platform into office and started making things better. They have all waited until the end of their terms to try to change things for the American people.

My biggest question and concern is: Will Obama be able to make sure all of his promises happen?

Broken promises are always a part of electing a president to office. And, though I did vote Republican in this election, I do have hopes that our country will be better for the Democratic leadership.

I agree with most of Obama's policies and I would like to see these things happen once he claims the office of president. Health care, energy, taxes and the economy are big things on thing minds of almost every American.

My prayer for this country is that we will all unite and stand firm in what we believe in. We have the right to disagree with the choice of president elected to office, but in the end we must accept it and move on.

Petty differences and over the top acceptance or denial will not remove this man from office. Together we must go forward and look to the future of this good nation. We must be proud to be Americans with freedoms that other countries still do not have.

We have the freedom of press - the freedom of religion even if ours is not the same as that of our president. We have the freedom to give our opinions to everyone.

We are truly blessed. And we should never take it for granted.

Wishing to be a published author

2008-10-18T00:51:00.000-05:00

As most of you know, I'm working on writing a book. This is a big undertaking on my part.

I want to be known for something other than what I don't do for a living - yes, here I'm taking a hit at the newspaper business. I loved writing feature stories. Writing articles about people is the best thing to do in a newsroom - in my opinion. There are so many people out there - and they all have a story to tell if you let them.

I'm 28 years old and I know that's probably young for an author, but it's what I've always wanted to do since I first knew I could write. My writing style has changed a good bit over the years, developed and molded by my English teachers and creative writing professors. It's also changed because I role play online at LiveJournal a good bit as well. Playing out a story with someone else gives you so much more freedom to write one character instead of two or more.

I haven't always loved reading books, but recently I find reading nearly anything to be good. I read all sorts of things - history and romance to classics. And though I haven't been reading much lately, I still enjoy it.

It's a really important part of the creative process for me - reading my favorite authors and watching my favorite shows. Inspiration comes in many forms for me. And I can only hope that through writing this first project I can be one step closer to my dream.

Presidential candidates disappointing

2008-10-16T01:01:00.000-05:00

I have not really followed this election as well as I would have liked, but with my job I'm not able to see any of the presidential debates. So far, I believe both candidates are a bit disappointing.

Now, let me explain. The campaigns and the mudslinging of this election have been far beyond any of those in past years. No wonder people are unsure who to vote for. As for me, I am still wondering which would be the lesser of two evils. McCain and Palin - who seem to have decent views on things - or Obama and Biden who simply like to trash talk their opponents from what I've seen on the news.

What happened to "if you have something to say, say it to my face?" Does it matter if the ads that are running paint them as hypocrites for saying something in the first place?

Last election, I did vote for the Democratic party and I know this country needs a change from Republican views. I just hope and pray that every voter will really think about what this country needs before they go to the poll. They shouldn't just vote for a candidate because of race, religion or sex. They should consider what this country needs - and right now our biggest and most urgent concern is the economy.

With the stock market still fluctuating and loosing more and more each day - will we hit rock bottom and never be able to get back up? Or will we bounce back from this and be stronger for it? Will gas stay under $3 or will we be forced to carry on as it goes back toward $4? Will health care reform come into play? Will all Americans get the health care we so desperately need in times like this? Will any of these things get done if Obama or McCain are in office? Will they just screw up even more than George W. Bush did? Will our troops come home in the next two years? Are the promises being made on the campaign trail and in debates empty? What can we as voters and Americans do to make sure our new president takes these things and does what he has promised?

These are all questions we need to ask ourselves before we pick a candidate - if we haven't already. And honestly, are we going to be better off than we were under the last president?

I'd like to hope so.

Excitement abounds in book reading

2008-08-01T21:26:00.000-05:00

Two hours and 33 minutes and counting. Breaking Dawn hits shelves at 12:01 a.m.

How exciting is it for some one who loves to read as much as I do?

It's really thrilling - just as thrilling as waiting for the final book of the Harry Potter series.

I just hope that my ideas will start to flow more after I finish this book. And I'm absolutely excited about Acheron by Sherrilyn Kenyon coming out on Aug 5. I will more than likely buy it from WalMart.com this weekend if it will get here on Tuesday.

I've got things to finish up at work so I can leave around 11 and go by the movie place.

Expect to see a review here when I'm finished and have thought about it.

Meyer's Breaking Dawn release set to come out this weekend

2008-07-30T03:43:00.000-05:00

The countdown to Stephenie Meyer's final book in the Twilight series has already caused quite a stir. Facebook groups, LiveJournal communities, and websites including Meyer's own (updated and put together by her little brother, Seth) are pumping fans up as they anxiously await the Breaking Dawn release.

Two days and counting. The spoilers start coming out of the wood works and people try to ruin the fun for other Twilighters. Most moderators try to be helpful - telling people not to post spoilers or to post warnings behind a cut. Some even warn readers where spoilers can be found so they can stay away. But of course there are always a few that can't help but give into temptation.

Since the release of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, fandom has slowed to a crawl. Events set in stone by J. K. Rowling have fic writers trying to come up with new ideas. And new ideas begin to become more and more alternate universe than the main dream of Rowling's series.

With the announcement of the Twilight movie - some fans became rather upset in the choice of actor put into the role of Edward. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire co-star, Robert Pattinson, dives into his first American movie role as the dark, mysterious Edward Cullen.

When asked by MTV news how he learned how to do an American accent, Pattinson said he "grew up watching American movies and stuff" so he "learned how to "act" from American films."

"I think it's turned around now," Pattinson told MTV news about how it was received that he would be playing Edward Cullen. "I remember when I first got cast, that was quite funny. It's kind of the same reaction I would've had if I were a little girl: "What?!?" I looked at the "Twilight" [message boards] the other day, and it seemed like it turned around. But for a while, I was staying inside and I kept my doors locked. I watched a couple of these YouTube videos of people who were complaining about the casting. I don't know. They should have been given parts in this movie."

Most fans seem to have accepted Pattinson and rising star, Kristen Stewart (Jumper, The Messengers) as Edward Cullen and Bella Swan.

As the book release date draws closer, most gamers and fanfic writers are starting to cut themselves off completely from anything that will spoil the book for them.

Meyer, a graduate of Brigham Young University, has a bachelor's degree in English. She lives with her husband and three young sons in Phoenix, Az. With the publication of her first novel, Twilight, booksellers chose Meyer as one of the "most promising new authors of 2005".

Breaking Dawn promises to be one of the most waited for books since the final Harry Potter novel. Most fans of the Harry Potter series have eagerly searched for something fill their time with. This series gives them a first person view of a young girl and how it feels to fall in love, have a broken heart and make new friends.

Hopefully the end of the series won't be disappointing to fans - and since Meyer's next project is the companion novel to Twilight, Midnight Sun, fans won't have to let go of Edward Cullen just yet.

Give Yourself a Chance

2008-06-28T01:45:00.000-05:00

Life is ever easy. We've all learned that the hard way, haven't we? Whether it be through trying to better ourselves or through relationships going wrong - we learn it and we get through it.

I've realized I have one very annoying trait, which my cousin seems to have also - we both talk things to death when we don't know what to do. But at least we have each other to talk to so we don't end up talking to ourselves.

Advice is never easy to hear nor is it easy to give. Some people are just born to give advice and some to take it. I'm more on the taking end. And even then sometimes I don't take it. I prefer to do things my own way. The same can be said of my cousin. No matter what someone tells you to do, you are the only one who can actually do it and make something happen.

I would consider myself a listener and a shoulder to lean on. I know without a doubt that I need to be more assertive in what I want to do with my life - especially at the age I am now. I won't get anywhere and I'll give up all my dreams if I don't do something about them.

But pursuing your dreams is a hard step to take. You know you have to do it or you'll end up staying where you are and be unhappy for the long haul.

I've realized that I don't want to be stuck in park anymore with my engine running, ready to go. I want to get moving again and start realizing some of my smaller dreams so my bigger dreams can come into focus. It's a small step, but it can be a big step if I make it happen.

And taking such a step can be a hard decision - weighing the pros and cons of the entire situation can give you perspective, but in the end you have to take the plunge.

Courage weighs in here. Do you have the guts to do it? If you've sat there long enough to see you have to do it, then you should have plenty of courage and if you don't, get it! It will be worth something in the long run (or at least that's my hope for my situation).

My Daddy was like Elvis and John Wayne rolled into one

2008-06-15T18:26:00.000-05:00

Today, being Father's Day, is just as hard for me as my daddy's birthday since he's not here. It's been 21 years, a lifetime for some and I still feel the pain whenever I see little girls with their fathers. I never really got to know mine, but I remember him just the same.

The best way to describe my daddy is this - he was a mix between Elvis and John Wayne. That's how I picture him in my mind when I think of him. He wasn't a singer and he wasn't an actor in western movies, he was simply Daddy to me. And at the age of six, he was my hero.

I'm sure every little girl thinks of her father in that way at such an age. It was no different for me, even though as I grow older, the memories fade. His voice grows dimmer in my mind, but his face is one I know I can never forget in a lifetime.

My half-sister told me this story a few years ago, so I thought I'd share it with everyone else.

Daddy and I had gone to visit my half-sister, Ginny and her son, Jeremy. (Yes, my nephew was only one year younger than me.) I was in my biting stage and boy did I love to bite anyone. But that day, I made the mistake of biting my father. I bit him so hard I was trembling. Then, of course I got the spanking of a lifetime. But I never bit him again.

My daddy was great. And I was a daddy's girl for my first six years of life. I went hunting and fishing with my father. I even caught a really big catfish with him. He was proud. I know I'll never forget that day.

So, Happy Father's Day to all the fathers out there. Love your children and let your children love you - you never know when the day you're living in will be your last.

Writing for the love of the game

2008-05-16T20:48:00.000-05:00

Getting to read articles in Editor & Publisher has been a great learning experience for me as of late. Today, in the May 2008 edition, I got absorbed in the "Going Mobile" article about mobile journalists. They work out of their cars most of the time, being on the go all day long instead of being in an office. As the article said, there are drawbacks. The main one being that you can't bounce ideas and whatnot off of someone if you aren't in a newsroom. And having someone there to help you with a story is always a wonderful and fulfilling experience.

Of course, I would love to be a mobile journalist for the simple fact that I wouldn't have to be in a newsroom all day and I could publish the information immediately onto a site or blog. We're in an age where we want the news as fast as we can get it and local news coverage for a town the size of Andalusia isn't every good. Sure, we make the news on a few rare occasions, but WSFA and WAKA aren't local stations to us. And our local stations are very poor indeed, if we still have them.

I was skimming the Editor & Publisher website for the link, which of course has to be paid for in the case of the mentioned article above, when I came across an article about journalism and how you have to pretty much do it for the love of it and not the money. Journalists, no matter how renowned or Pulitzer worthy, never get paid enough for the brilliant ideas they come up with.

Right now, I could toss out about three ideas that would more than likely be good and brilliant stories, but no one would ever go after them. So I might as well list them here.

The first one, involves much investigative reporting. The hospitals here are known for how badly they treat patients, so the article would surround finding out about those facts and how many of the doctors are under investigation or have pending lawsuits against them, as well as the hospital. I know it would be a great investigative peace, but there aren't any reporters here who would take the chance on that one. Not even me. The hospital pays this newspaper way too much money to go and air out all that dirty laundry.

The second one would be all the impending cases of sexual abuse. Of course we run stories on those all the time, but I would do a series here with the children in these cases. Let the community see these children if the parents will let it happen. And then do another piece on the pedophiles themselves, focusing on what drives them to do this to children and keep doing it until they are caught and incarcerated.

The third idea was an idea I had a while back, but no one took me up on it. I would do a series on each pre-school here in this town. Give an overall picture of how it is run and what kinds of things are different at each one. Parents would have a better knowledge of where they are sending their kids and what they are paying for when they do.

Watching shows like Smallville and movies like One Fine Day or Never Been Kissed have always been inspirational. Undercover reporting has always been something that I would love to do, but know I will never have the chance to do. I know it has to be a rush, getting the scoop and being there when something goes down. You have to have nerves of steel to do a job like that and just watching it on shows and movies makes me want to do something worth while to get that Pulitzer prize.

Remembering the written road

2008-05-02T03:53:00.000-05:00

After reading an editorial in the last AUM paper for the semester, I decided it was time to rediscover through this blog how I came to be a writer.
I suppose inside my own head I've always been a writer. I remember when I was seven, we had to write a book and put it together with pictures for the school library. It wasn't very good and the drawings were barely better than stick figures, but I wrote a complete story at that age. The only thing I really remember about it is that I wrote it about my Aunt Vivian and finding my way to her house.
While I didn't like to read what I was supposed to in elementary school, I remember fondly how my mother would read to me when I was younger. One of my fondest memories of her was the first time she read the fairytale "Little One Eye, Little Two Eyes, Little Three Eyes" to me. I know the whole tale isn't as fascinating as Sleeping Beauty or Snow White, but it made me think creatively. That's what my mom always wanted.
In her later years, I remember her reading more and more romance novels. But the point is that she wanted me to read more - read anything to broaden my creative juices.
I started to write poetry and began keeping a diary as soon as my teen years began. That was my start. Writing about my day or whatever it was I was feeling. Maybe it was only a few sentences, but it was enough to make me feel better about myself to know I'd done something. As a result of starting to keep a journal and writing poetry to get out my emotions, I've always relied on my pen to help me through any tough times.
I still use this technique today, typing long online journal entries that often read as though I'm insane. Of course, when you are feeling anger, hurt, pain or loss, you don't really think about what you are saying through your words, only that you are getting those feelings out in the best possible way.
I started to write a novel when I was 15. I remember it was just before my mother died. The concept of Anne Rice's vampires and living in another time, not aging had hooked me. Vampire lore and the supernatural powers that came with such things made me want to write my own twist. As I look back on that beginning, I can honestly say now, I have a different approach to vampires altogether. I've read different authors and watched different shows. I think my take on vampires would go more along with Joss Whedon's - except for the souls part.
My high school years were spent writing notes and trying to pass English and Algebra. Being a creative writer should have opened up a big world of wanting to know English and grammar, but somehow I was lacking in that area. Mainly my unwillingness to learn how to spell came at quite a cost. My spelling still has not improved. I rely religiously on spell-check and the online dictionary.
As I started junior college, I finally started to write more prose instead of verse. My interests changed and my world did more spinning before all was said and done. I had a boy break my heart, lost some friends, lost my favorite uncle, and moved to Troy to finish my schooling.
They say what doesn't kill us, makes us stronger. But what I think is that those things keep killing us each time we relive the painful memories of it in our minds. They make us weak and strong all in the same moment. Weak - because we are only human and can only take so much pain, sorrow and hurt. Strong - because we get back up, build some more walls around our hearts, and try to go on as long as we can.
Writing has always been my way of coping with reality and reading has become another way of coping. To be able to escape into another world and become the heroine is often better than real life. We can see ourselves in the characters we create through writing or we can relate to the characters in the stories we read.
Escaping into another place and time can help us make it through a hard day at work or simply make us feel better about ourselves.
Most novels have a happy ending even if you have to read the next one in the series to find it. There must be a plot that brings about some sort of problem, which naturally leads to a conclusion, a completion of everything, thus bringing us a happy ending.
In saying all of this, I am simply saying I have not, even as a writer found my happy ending. In my personal life, I've seen nothing but sorrow and pain. Who's to say I won't find my happy ending as soon as I let go of the fear of taking a chance? Only I can do that and see what happens.
So, dear reader, I am starting fresh. Writing what I know and what I am. I can only hope and pray that my path in life will become more clear in the days and weeks ahead.
Life is never easy. If it were, it would be more like the fairytales we loved so much as children.

The truth of the matter of male pregnancy

2008-04-12T02:16:00.000-05:00

I was watching The Daily Show with Jon Stewart at a friend's house the other night. Naturally, there are a few tidbits that catch your eye.

One of these was a pregnant man. Of course, I was curious. How can a man possibly be pregnant? I was told, not by the host of the show, but by my friend that the man had gotten pregnant after his wife couldn't have children. This made me curious since my friend proceeded to tell me the "man" had once been a woman and was married to a woman. Now, my question was: where did the sperm come from? We all know that two naturally born women cannot have a child. Needless to say, I didn't get the whole story.

At work the next day, I hear another version of the story. The man is indeed a man and is carrying the child for his wife who is unable to have children due to having a hysterectomy. So, they gave the man all the women parts needed to carry a child and did artificial insemination on him, which made him pregnant.

Now, here I am at 4 a.m. looking up internet sources on this article. I have no idea what the guy's name is, but I keep coming up with Thomas Beatie. Beatie was a woman once and has had a full sex change except he still has a uterus and a womb, which allows him to carry a child.

Still, the question remains. Where did the sperm to create this child come from? If it came from someone other than Beatie, then obviously he is not the biological father and never can be due to his original sex.

My opinion on this is, while it might be nice for a man to carry a child for us women, it is not biologically possible. Though men do have nipples, they were not created to care and nurture a child inside their bodies. If they were, then they would also have wombs. Messing with science and the way the world works is dangerous business. And although transsexuals can have both female and male organs, one is going to dominate the other. That's the way of life, people.

It's one of those days

2008-04-12T02:04:00.000-05:00

I wrote this at the job on Monday. This was one of the bad days. Here's how it went:

I have had the day from hell. I get up this morning after a decent night's sleep and I feel like crap. Yes, I feel like a truck has run over my head. My wisdom teeth on the bottom are coming in and the one on the right wants to give me problems. Those problems are pain on that side to my ear and right at my cheek. Lovely, right? The one on the left is already poking through the gum because I can feel the tooth. Okay, no problem, I have my trusty Oragel rip off from Wal-Mart and I'm ready to go to work though I feel like crap.

I get to work early and as I get out of my car, a co-worker pulls up and I start talking to her about her "new" car. Three hours later, another co-worker informs me I have left my lights on. I feel my pockets for my keys. Not there. Crap. I've locked the keys in the car with the ignition on so the lights are on AGAIN. And stupid me hasn't put the spare key under the car yet or whatever. So I'm going crazy. I'm losing it. I'm seriously not feeling good at this point and I just want to go home, but I have to stay at work. Because my job sucks and I'm nearly the only one who can do it.

I call my "mom" and get no answer at either number. I take a chance and call her at work. She's the store manager at the Burger King in Opp, which is only a 20 minute drive. Turns out she's at the grand opening of the new BK in Elba this week, so I had to call her there and ask her to bring me the spare set that she has. And since the lights are on, I know it's going to kill my battery by the time she gets to bring them to me at around 7:30. Great.

Chad, one of the press guys, tells me he can get my keys out with a coat hanger, which they actually have some in the mens' bathroom right now. Okay! Great! Do it! After a few tries, we finally get it unlocked using the window in the back driver's side by pushing down the button to get it to go down. Well, the battery was pretty much dead, so I start asking people if they have jumper cables. No one had any! None of the guys! How crazy is that?

I decide, hey I can't lose anything by texting a friend of mine who lives nearby, so I send her a text asking if she has some jumper cables. Yay! She does and she comes to the rescue in like 15 minutes! A true friend will get off their ass, get dressed and come rescue in your time of need!

This has made me learn an important lesson. I need a spare key at work or duct taped to my car somewhere. Or I just need to tape one to my head and hope I don't forget it either. I should just get a hoop and put it on there and wear it as an earring. Hey, Janet Jackson used to do it! Why not!

Know where you live

2008-02-27T18:06:00.000-06:00

It came to my attention as I was pasting in the letters to the editor last night that most young people today do not know where they come from or anything about the town they live in.

This letter was written by my great uncle, who is the historian for our family.

It's amazing to see that the truth of a city can get buried in legend or in what others would want the history of a town to be. It has to be exciting and fascinating, but not always true.

Some people find history boring, but in truth, it should be the focal point of our lives. To know where we came from so we can tell the next generation about it. Our heritage is something to be proud of. It is something we can pass on and something that time cannot erase.

I’m proud of our town, but I’m not proud of those who seek to make a fantasy of how our town came to be.

The main reason I am writing this is because of the letter above. I feel strongly about truth and a fantasy will now be forever marked on the side of a building in mural form. I suppose it is just that, a mural, but if it is to be about our city, then why not let it be true?

We could all use some truth in our lives, couldn’t we?

Health care reform for everyone

2008-02-24T03:47:00.000-06:00

This letter was rather disturbing to me.

Reading about how today's veterans are treated when they go in to VA hospitals for health care, was an eyeopening experience.

I had read other letters and several articles on the subject before, but the letter above published in the Andalusia Star-News from a veteran, put things in prospective.

Our veterans deserve better health care! They've served our country, given their time away from their families to help keep our country free. They deserve to be treated with respect and not have to deal with all the rules and paperwork that seems to have taken over their health care plans.

The same goes for health care for any American.

Canadians have free health care, why shouldn't we? Sure they have to pay for a few of the more expensive things, but all in all, seeing a doctor when you're sick doesn't cost an arm and a leg there. Here, it's around $50 to see a doctor or a nurse practitioner. And even with insurance, which costs at least $150 a month, you still have to make a co-pay. Granted, it's only around $15 or less, but still, that's money we could use for prescriptions. Prescriptions aren't cheep either and most health care plans don't cover that either.

In short, all Americans deserve something better. Especially our veterans.

More refunds: Are they going to help the economy?

2008-02-16T16:18:00.000-06:00

The president signed a bill, giving all those who draw a paycheck, a $300 refund at the least.

The real question is: will this help or harm the recession of the economy.

Most people tend to think, if you have more money, then you'll spend more. But if you save it and get a good interest rate on it, then it'll be more beneficial in the future, right?

With interest rates not being so good, that's a hard thing to answer. For the economy, it's not going to get any better since we're already owning ourselves about 30 grand a piece from a recent commentary I read today.

With all this money, we're not helping the economy by getting all of our paid in taxes back, are we? The national debt will more than likely go up several billion dollars in order for every working person in the United States to get back more money.

Personally, I think this is a great thing for Americans. If most of them are like me, they work in a low paying job that barely pays the rent, let alone all the bills that pile up. But with the economy and the national debt, it's not such a great thing, is it? Our generation will be the ones who are having to fix all of the problems that we started with the Baby Boom of the 1980s. We're workers now and we're going to have to take care of our parents in another 20 years or so when they retire.

What kind of world will we have then? It takes years to come back from an economic depression. The world has seen it before...but could we come out of another one? Would we be stronger for it? Or just more naive?

Celebrities and the media: How far is too far?

2008-02-06T15:05:00.000-06:00

(note: this will be one of those "I" blogs)

Celebrities live a very public life once they're in front of the camera. One box office hit and they're followed around every where they go. One hit record and they're branded for life even if they don't put out another one for years.

I am sick of hearing about Britney Spears! Give the girl a rest! I'm sick of hearing about Anna Nicole too. It's been over a year. Find something new to talk about and let her daughter have a normal life. It's one thing to talk about them occasionally, but it's entirely another thing to have them bashed every day or have their private lives put out there for everyone to see. They deserve the same rights we have. The rights to privacy, being the most important.

Another thing that I cannot get over is how the media can be so self serving. When a family is in morning over the loss of a loved one, that is NOT the time to go snapping pictures. It is not the time when the body is rolled out to be taking them either. Things like that are in poor taste. And if there are those who don't agree with me, I think you should have a lesson in respect.

Sure there are famous pictures of things like that, such as John F. Kennedy, Jr. saluting his father's coffin as it passes by. And of course, as a nation we watched as former First Lady, Nancy Reagan kissed her husband's coffin.

I have the personal belief that things like that should be private no matter who the person is. And let me just say that all these reports of how the person died should not be made public. Sure, we're all curious, but is it really our business to know? No. It's not.

The paparazzi are all about getting the one shot that no one else can get. They hound celebrities and follow them around. They cause accidents and find Britney without her underwear again. Or take pictures of Heath Ledger as his body's wheeled out of his NYC apartment. They try to dig up things, such as the video that's been passed around where Ledger is clearly doing drugs.

Being naturally curious is not a crime, but seriously think about it, how would you like to be followed around all day, every day?

Elections: Are they getting too personal?

2008-02-06T03:40:00.000-06:00

As everyone is well aware, Super Tuesday was a big deal here in the south. Those running for president have outdone themselves this year. They started campaigning early for one and visited states they were sure they could swing the vote on.

The top runners here were Huckabee and Obama. Though Clinton won the county, it was not enough to win the state. Obama has big numbers with young and first time voters. What is the big deal about voting for him? Does he really stand for the important issues? Health care for everyone and making the economy better? These are the main focuses on Clinton's agenda, which seem to make her a front runner for the Democratic party.

Huckabee has the Bible Belt in the palm of his hand from the background he brings to the race. With Alabama being a mostly Republican state, it's hard to understand how Obama would win the state.

Huckabee has movie stars on his side as do all the other candidates. Huckabee has Chuck Norris, which Obama has Oprah and George Clooney. Are voters going to look at who their favorite star is voting for when they chose a candidate to support? It is doubtful. One would hope they look at the issues and those that they agree on with the candidates.

Will the one we vote for win the race? No one knows. It is time for a change. The current president is at the end of his term and Americans are looking at what was done during his two terms. Change needs to happen for us to move into the future. The only question remains is: which of these forerunners will bring about the much needed change Americans deserve?