I have been so blessed this year that I don't know what to do with myself. Of course, most of my blessings came at the end of the year, but still, this year has been a good one.
One of the best things to happen for me this year has been getting a new job that lets me work better hours - and it's full time! Working in Opp has been great for the past month and I look forward to many more months here.
One of my blessings in disguise was finding out that I am diabetic. Having this happen at this point in my life has been hard, but I am able to deal with it fairly well. I have always known I would be at risk since my mother had diabetes. But being able to lose weight and really take a step back and look at what I am eating has really made a difference in my life. I'm not where I need to be by any means, but I am well on my way to where I want to go.
I couldn't tell you how many times I talked to my cousin and best friend, Mary Ann since she moved to Lakeland, but I can tell you I have talked to her more in the past 5 months than I have since they moved from Tuscaloosa. It is a blessing that she and I have gotten to be close again despite the distance that separates us. I am lucky to be able to be considered her daughter's aunt even though I'm not Mary Ann's real sister. I know in our hearts, we are and always will be sisters.
I'm blessed to have such wonderful people in my life. I know that I often take for granted the fact that I can go away and not be in church at Mobley Creek for a while and come back and still feel welcome. Though, we may not have a large congregation, it is one that I have come to know and love for a very long time. We are truly blessed to have a wonderful pastor - Terry Powell and I am proud to say that he is every bit a Christian outside the church doors as he is inside.
Writing has always been my passion - well probably since about the age of 15, I wanted to be a writer. I didn't think I was any good or that I might make it big and I still haven't, but I'm well on my way. I'm doing something I love. Talking to people and learning their stories always touches my heart and I am proud that I am gifted enough to do this job.
I think the Lord has truly blessed me with many wonderful gifts, which I know I take for granted. My singing and my writing are both gifts that I know he has given me to show others about my faith in him. I don't sing as much as I should, but I have rejoined the church choir and that is fulfilling in itself.
I don't know what I would do without my wonderful and supportive church family. They have been the ones that I have leaned upon and shared my troubles with over the past few years. They have never faultered in showing me they will do whatever they can to help. Isn't that the most wonderful thing?
I know this blog is jumping all over the place, but I really do have a great deal to be thankful for as 2009 comes to a close. I can only hope that 2010 brings even better things my way - despite the fact that I will be 30 in May.
I wish all of you the very best in the new year and I hope His blessings and goodness shine on you!
God Bless!
-Esther
All I want for Christmas is...
Thursday, December 17, 2009
By ESTHER TAYLOR
The Opp News
oppeditorial@centurytel.net
Reading through Dear Santa letters, for the paper, I start to get a little nostalgic. I think about when I was in first grade or second grade – which is over 20 years ago if you can believe it.
I remember wanting simple things, like Barbies and things to entertain me. Now, children have a host of electronic games that can entertain and educate. I think we were easier to please back then. Children today seem to want everything they see on television and Lord help us all if their best friend has something they don’t.
I think it’s important to remember to want more simple things for Christmas, but sometimes those things get lost in what we think we really want and need in our lives.
If I were to write a letter to Santa, it would go something like this:
Dear Santa,
I will not say that I’ve been very good this year. I’m sure I haven’t, but as far as nice goes, I think I’d be among the others on the ‘Nice’ list.
First of all, I would like world peace, but I do not want this at the cost of more lives. I would like for all of our troops to be able to come home for the holidays and be with their families. These courageous men and women have fought, bled and died for our country to be able to have the freedom to celebrate holidays and have the right to state our opinions. They should be able to come home after eight years over there fighting to keep the terrorists at bay.
Second, I would like for there to be no poverty. Everyone should have money in their pockets and a place to call home. I’m not saying this should be a free handout and I’m not saying those who already get government assistance should get off their butts and get a job instead of mooching off the hard working citizens of these United States. Actually, you know what, that IS what I’m saying. If you can work, if you’re physically and mentally able to keep a full time job, you should. No questions. And just because you have assistance from the government to feed your six kids, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t work to support your family further. Government handouts are not for people who sit on their butts and continue to take for granted that people like me help to pay for what you’ve got on your table. And I bet that it’s better than what I’ve got in my refrigerator at home right now.
Third, I would like for there to be a big deal about holidays that honor our fallen soldiers. These men and women gave their lives for us. Does anyone know what that means? That means these people willingly gave up their hopes and dreams and have stepped into the wars that have happened to ensure our survival as a great nation.
I know I’m asking a lot, but these are things our country needs to remember and fight for in the coming years.
Santa we need a little help, so if any of this could be accomplished, I know you’d be the first one to do it. It doesn’t matter if you’re real or not – if you’re real to hundreds of boys and girls across the world, that says something.
When we’re young, we have faith that you’ll bring us what we want. And sometimes we get it and sometimes we don’t. The point is, it’s important to believe in something, no matter what it is!
I know you’ll try your best to lend a helping hand.
Love,
Esther
P.S. If you find Christian Kane lying around somewhere, send him along too.
The Opp News
oppeditorial@centurytel.net
Reading through Dear Santa letters, for the paper, I start to get a little nostalgic. I think about when I was in first grade or second grade – which is over 20 years ago if you can believe it.
I remember wanting simple things, like Barbies and things to entertain me. Now, children have a host of electronic games that can entertain and educate. I think we were easier to please back then. Children today seem to want everything they see on television and Lord help us all if their best friend has something they don’t.
I think it’s important to remember to want more simple things for Christmas, but sometimes those things get lost in what we think we really want and need in our lives.
If I were to write a letter to Santa, it would go something like this:
Dear Santa,
I will not say that I’ve been very good this year. I’m sure I haven’t, but as far as nice goes, I think I’d be among the others on the ‘Nice’ list.
First of all, I would like world peace, but I do not want this at the cost of more lives. I would like for all of our troops to be able to come home for the holidays and be with their families. These courageous men and women have fought, bled and died for our country to be able to have the freedom to celebrate holidays and have the right to state our opinions. They should be able to come home after eight years over there fighting to keep the terrorists at bay.
Second, I would like for there to be no poverty. Everyone should have money in their pockets and a place to call home. I’m not saying this should be a free handout and I’m not saying those who already get government assistance should get off their butts and get a job instead of mooching off the hard working citizens of these United States. Actually, you know what, that IS what I’m saying. If you can work, if you’re physically and mentally able to keep a full time job, you should. No questions. And just because you have assistance from the government to feed your six kids, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t work to support your family further. Government handouts are not for people who sit on their butts and continue to take for granted that people like me help to pay for what you’ve got on your table. And I bet that it’s better than what I’ve got in my refrigerator at home right now.
Third, I would like for there to be a big deal about holidays that honor our fallen soldiers. These men and women gave their lives for us. Does anyone know what that means? That means these people willingly gave up their hopes and dreams and have stepped into the wars that have happened to ensure our survival as a great nation.
I know I’m asking a lot, but these are things our country needs to remember and fight for in the coming years.
Santa we need a little help, so if any of this could be accomplished, I know you’d be the first one to do it. It doesn’t matter if you’re real or not – if you’re real to hundreds of boys and girls across the world, that says something.
When we’re young, we have faith that you’ll bring us what we want. And sometimes we get it and sometimes we don’t. The point is, it’s important to believe in something, no matter what it is!
I know you’ll try your best to lend a helping hand.
Love,
Esther
P.S. If you find Christian Kane lying around somewhere, send him along too.
Holiday Thanksgiving
Monday, December 14, 2009
With Thanksgiving having already passed and Christmas coming up, I’ve been thinking about what I’m most thankful for this year. I have so much to be thankful for. I have a wonderful, supportive family. I have a Savior who died to save a poor sinner like me. I have a great new job. I have wonderful friends, who are like family to me. I have food to eat, a car that gets me where I need to go, and a roof over my head.
I’m thankful for old friends who have come back into my life. I’m thankful that we can carry on as if no time has past. I am thankful that true friends never forget you and though time and space may separate you, you are always in each other’s hearts.
I am eternally grateful for my brothers and sisters in Christ. Without the prayers of God’s children, I know many of my own prayers would not be answered. I’m thankful for all the answered prayers for my health. I’m thankful for the answered prayer for a better job as well.
I am thankful for the time God allowed me to have my parents before He called them home. I am grateful for my mother’s faith in God and her teaching me about His love from a very young age. I know the reason I still have my faith is because of the example my mother set for me. I know later in her life, she couldn’t go to church because of her health, but she still would study her Bible on occasion. Her Bible, which I still have though it is now worn with care, has many notes and underlined passages. When I look through it, I can feel connected to her through the words of the Father.
I am thankful to those who inspire me to be creative and try to do more to better myself. I am glad the Lord above saw fit to put these people in my life as inspiration. I can only hope that I too can be an inspiration and example for someone one day.
Most of all, I am thankful to be alive and healthy enough to go to work. I may not like some of the aspects of my life, but I am always thankful to be alive.
As Christmas draws near, we need to be thankful for the real reason why we celebrate this holiday – our Lord Jesus.
So often we forget in our busy lives that it is He who guides us. He’s the Great Physician, Mighty Counselor, Lamb of God, Living Water, and so much more. He’s whatever we need, whenever we need it. Isn’t that so amazing? One person can be everything we need! All we have to do is remember it!
We have remember the reason we have what we have is because of Him. We have family to share the holiday with and we make precious memories that will last a lifetime, but we have to remember to be thankful for Him and what He has given to us.
I’m thankful for old friends who have come back into my life. I’m thankful that we can carry on as if no time has past. I am thankful that true friends never forget you and though time and space may separate you, you are always in each other’s hearts.
I am eternally grateful for my brothers and sisters in Christ. Without the prayers of God’s children, I know many of my own prayers would not be answered. I’m thankful for all the answered prayers for my health. I’m thankful for the answered prayer for a better job as well.
I am thankful for the time God allowed me to have my parents before He called them home. I am grateful for my mother’s faith in God and her teaching me about His love from a very young age. I know the reason I still have my faith is because of the example my mother set for me. I know later in her life, she couldn’t go to church because of her health, but she still would study her Bible on occasion. Her Bible, which I still have though it is now worn with care, has many notes and underlined passages. When I look through it, I can feel connected to her through the words of the Father.
I am thankful to those who inspire me to be creative and try to do more to better myself. I am glad the Lord above saw fit to put these people in my life as inspiration. I can only hope that I too can be an inspiration and example for someone one day.
Most of all, I am thankful to be alive and healthy enough to go to work. I may not like some of the aspects of my life, but I am always thankful to be alive.
As Christmas draws near, we need to be thankful for the real reason why we celebrate this holiday – our Lord Jesus.
So often we forget in our busy lives that it is He who guides us. He’s the Great Physician, Mighty Counselor, Lamb of God, Living Water, and so much more. He’s whatever we need, whenever we need it. Isn’t that so amazing? One person can be everything we need! All we have to do is remember it!
We have remember the reason we have what we have is because of Him. We have family to share the holiday with and we make precious memories that will last a lifetime, but we have to remember to be thankful for Him and what He has given to us.
Labels:
christmas,
column,
thanksgiving
Family history and good times
Sunday, November 15, 2009
Family! Wow. I really never realized how many people are in my extended family until yesterday.
We had our Ward reunion yesterday and seeing people I haven't seen in years makes me very happy and excited about the future.
Let me explain about my family and how I'm a Ward. My mom was a Ward before she married the first time. She married a Loften and then after he passed away, she married my father. My mom, Edna Earl Taylor nee Ward, was the youngest of three children born to Barnett Seth and Esther Vivian Ward. My grandfather, Barnett was the oldest of 10 children born to William Elias and Hattie Mae Ward. My great grandfather was a preacher and a very good man. I really wish I could have known him.
Those who gathered at the reunion are descendants of William Elias and Hattie Mae Ward nee Knowles. The ten children they had are as follows: Barnett Seth, James Worth, Lucy Elizabeth, William Elias Jr., Mildred, Myrtle Mae, Bessie, Richard Jackson, Wyley Donald, and Doyle Omega. My great grandfather was the son of John "Jack" and Lucy (Godwin) Ward. He was the fourth from the oldest of eleven children. All of this information can be found in my Uncle Donald Ward's book "The Folks from Pea Ridge."
Many of the family got together and made leaves for their families so we can put together a family tree. The kids colored them and several people filled out the information on the leaves. It was a great project that we will get to see flourish as the years go by. Many of the older children will get married and have their own leaves and own families added later on.
There were about 145 people at the old home place today. It's amazing to see the family's roots and hear stories about things that happened in days gone by. My great grandfather ran a farm, raised 10 children and preached the word through the Great Depression. From my Uncle Donald's pamphlet "Uncle Bill as I Knew Him," I've learned my great grandfather was a very giving man and also very intelligent. He was very open minded about religion and often spoke or sang in other churches.
There were 14 of us there from my granddaddy's side of the family. My granddady's children, Gloria, Clyde and Edna are all deceased now, but my Aunt Gloria's children are pictured here with her husband, Robert Gafford. From the back row are Angie Wright, Jason Wright and Ramona Wright. Second row from the left are Raleigh Gafford, Kelsey Bates, Robert Gafford, Regina Bates and Amber Wright. Third row from the left are Randi Sadler, Tyler Nellums, and Savannah (Jason's wife's daughter). Bottom row from left are Kaitlyn Bates and Lyndee Sadler. I'm hoping I have all of these last names right, but I'm going to double check later and make corrections as needed. I am the only one not in the picture and am the only child from my mom's branch of the family.
I have watched all of the kids grow up and I am starting to feel rather old now that they are almost grown. Kelsey is the oldest of the kids - she just turned 18 last month. Tyler is the second oldest and will be 16 in February. Kaitlyn is 13 and the twins, Randi and Lyndee just turned 12 this month.
Kelsey, me and Kaitlyn on the back porch at the old home place.
Tyler and me sitting in the kitchen at the old home place.
As I'm growing older, I've come to realize the importance of family history. You have to know your roots and where you've come from. My family has a lot of amazing history even if we aren't all famous or have life changing jobs. We have touched lives through the branches that spread out far and wide over the southern states. We've lost several great people in the past few years and though we might miss them, we carry on. We think of them and remember them when we gather together as a family and we share our memories of them and hold them dear in our hearts.
We had our Ward reunion yesterday and seeing people I haven't seen in years makes me very happy and excited about the future.
Let me explain about my family and how I'm a Ward. My mom was a Ward before she married the first time. She married a Loften and then after he passed away, she married my father. My mom, Edna Earl Taylor nee Ward, was the youngest of three children born to Barnett Seth and Esther Vivian Ward. My grandfather, Barnett was the oldest of 10 children born to William Elias and Hattie Mae Ward. My great grandfather was a preacher and a very good man. I really wish I could have known him.
Those who gathered at the reunion are descendants of William Elias and Hattie Mae Ward nee Knowles. The ten children they had are as follows: Barnett Seth, James Worth, Lucy Elizabeth, William Elias Jr., Mildred, Myrtle Mae, Bessie, Richard Jackson, Wyley Donald, and Doyle Omega. My great grandfather was the son of John "Jack" and Lucy (Godwin) Ward. He was the fourth from the oldest of eleven children. All of this information can be found in my Uncle Donald Ward's book "The Folks from Pea Ridge."
Many of the family got together and made leaves for their families so we can put together a family tree. The kids colored them and several people filled out the information on the leaves. It was a great project that we will get to see flourish as the years go by. Many of the older children will get married and have their own leaves and own families added later on.There were about 145 people at the old home place today. It's amazing to see the family's roots and hear stories about things that happened in days gone by. My great grandfather ran a farm, raised 10 children and preached the word through the Great Depression. From my Uncle Donald's pamphlet "Uncle Bill as I Knew Him," I've learned my great grandfather was a very giving man and also very intelligent. He was very open minded about religion and often spoke or sang in other churches.
There were 14 of us there from my granddaddy's side of the family. My granddady's children, Gloria, Clyde and Edna are all deceased now, but my Aunt Gloria's children are pictured here with her husband, Robert Gafford. From the back row are Angie Wright, Jason Wright and Ramona Wright. Second row from the left are Raleigh Gafford, Kelsey Bates, Robert Gafford, Regina Bates and Amber Wright. Third row from the left are Randi Sadler, Tyler Nellums, and Savannah (Jason's wife's daughter). Bottom row from left are Kaitlyn Bates and Lyndee Sadler. I'm hoping I have all of these last names right, but I'm going to double check later and make corrections as needed. I am the only one not in the picture and am the only child from my mom's branch of the family.I have watched all of the kids grow up and I am starting to feel rather old now that they are almost grown. Kelsey is the oldest of the kids - she just turned 18 last month. Tyler is the second oldest and will be 16 in February. Kaitlyn is 13 and the twins, Randi and Lyndee just turned 12 this month.
Kelsey, me and Kaitlyn on the back porch at the old home place.
Tyler and me sitting in the kitchen at the old home place.
As I'm growing older, I've come to realize the importance of family history. You have to know your roots and where you've come from. My family has a lot of amazing history even if we aren't all famous or have life changing jobs. We have touched lives through the branches that spread out far and wide over the southern states. We've lost several great people in the past few years and though we might miss them, we carry on. We think of them and remember them when we gather together as a family and we share our memories of them and hold them dear in our hearts.
Labels:
family
Moving on
Sometimes you have to take a giant leap. It doesn't really matter what it's for - love, a new job, mankind, etc. If it's something worth the risk, you'll land on your feet.
My life has always felt like a whirlwind - being tossed around full of emotions I've bottled up and tried to hide. It's been one trial after another and here I am, still standing on my own two feet. Sure, there have been times when I've had to lean on someone for support. And of course, there are the times when God and my faith in Him have carried me through the rough spots. But through it all, I've been strong.
Life is about changes, whether they be good or bad. And my life is about to take another turn as I start to work at the Opp News on November 30th.
As most of you know, I've wanted to get back into reporting for a while. I've always thought about being Lois Lane at some newspaper somewhere. I know I'll never win a Pulitzer for anything I write, but writing about people who change lives makes it worth the effort. No matter if only 10 people read this blog or if it's 100, I know my words stand for something.
This decision to get back into writing for a newspaper has been weighing on me for some time. Now, I have the opportunity to do it and it's a little scary. I have faith in my abilities as a wordsmith, but I'm also a worrier. But I prayed about putting in my resume and portfolio and asked God to take care of the situation. It's amazing how God works. He helps us when we need it the most and this job is something I've needed for a while now.
I will be working for a once a week publication and getting 40 hours maximum a week. Benefits, which I've wanted and needed for a while now, will be available in 90 days as well as a 401K plan. I'm looking at being able to have a normal 8-5 job that will let me have more time with my friends and family. And with this schedule, I'll be able to attend church on Wednesday nights and take more trips to Pensacola and other places.
I'm excited and nervous about this big change in my life, but with the support of my wonderful friends and family, I know I'm going to make it. I don't want my life to be full of what ifs. And I want to finish my novels and short stories in the next few months.
I know this next journey in my life is going to leave me with more memories than I can count. I only hope happiness comes with this journey and that my writer's muse continues to give me inspiration through this transition.
Keep me in your thoughts and prayers. I know I have several of you in my prayers and always in my thoughts. I want to ask all of you to pray for Carrie Smith Fore's baby girl, Ella Charles. Visit her blog here to find out the story and how they are doing along the road God has led them. Also, I ask you to pray for my cousins, Mary Ann Knox and her brother Jonathan Grimes. As some of you know, Mary Ann is my best friend as well as my cousin. She's going through a pretty nasty divorce right now, but is making it through with the support of her family and some friends she's made in Lakeland, Florida. She has an almost two-year-old daughter, Ally and Ally is going through not having a father figure in her life. Pray all of this ends well for them and that they can move closer to home when it's over. Jonathan lives in Pensacola and we are just as close as I am with his sister. He's one of my best friends even though he's always been like a little brother to me. He's having thyroid problems, which result in migraines, so we are praying that the doctors can get that under control soon. He's had several other health issues, so we are praying that this won't develop into something more serious.
I love and cherish all of you and each uplifting comment that you make on this blog. I hope all of you are doing well. Take care and I hope to keep this blog more updated in the days and weeks ahead.
My life has always felt like a whirlwind - being tossed around full of emotions I've bottled up and tried to hide. It's been one trial after another and here I am, still standing on my own two feet. Sure, there have been times when I've had to lean on someone for support. And of course, there are the times when God and my faith in Him have carried me through the rough spots. But through it all, I've been strong.
Life is about changes, whether they be good or bad. And my life is about to take another turn as I start to work at the Opp News on November 30th.
As most of you know, I've wanted to get back into reporting for a while. I've always thought about being Lois Lane at some newspaper somewhere. I know I'll never win a Pulitzer for anything I write, but writing about people who change lives makes it worth the effort. No matter if only 10 people read this blog or if it's 100, I know my words stand for something.
This decision to get back into writing for a newspaper has been weighing on me for some time. Now, I have the opportunity to do it and it's a little scary. I have faith in my abilities as a wordsmith, but I'm also a worrier. But I prayed about putting in my resume and portfolio and asked God to take care of the situation. It's amazing how God works. He helps us when we need it the most and this job is something I've needed for a while now.
I will be working for a once a week publication and getting 40 hours maximum a week. Benefits, which I've wanted and needed for a while now, will be available in 90 days as well as a 401K plan. I'm looking at being able to have a normal 8-5 job that will let me have more time with my friends and family. And with this schedule, I'll be able to attend church on Wednesday nights and take more trips to Pensacola and other places.
I'm excited and nervous about this big change in my life, but with the support of my wonderful friends and family, I know I'm going to make it. I don't want my life to be full of what ifs. And I want to finish my novels and short stories in the next few months.
I know this next journey in my life is going to leave me with more memories than I can count. I only hope happiness comes with this journey and that my writer's muse continues to give me inspiration through this transition.
Keep me in your thoughts and prayers. I know I have several of you in my prayers and always in my thoughts. I want to ask all of you to pray for Carrie Smith Fore's baby girl, Ella Charles. Visit her blog here to find out the story and how they are doing along the road God has led them. Also, I ask you to pray for my cousins, Mary Ann Knox and her brother Jonathan Grimes. As some of you know, Mary Ann is my best friend as well as my cousin. She's going through a pretty nasty divorce right now, but is making it through with the support of her family and some friends she's made in Lakeland, Florida. She has an almost two-year-old daughter, Ally and Ally is going through not having a father figure in her life. Pray all of this ends well for them and that they can move closer to home when it's over. Jonathan lives in Pensacola and we are just as close as I am with his sister. He's one of my best friends even though he's always been like a little brother to me. He's having thyroid problems, which result in migraines, so we are praying that the doctors can get that under control soon. He's had several other health issues, so we are praying that this won't develop into something more serious.
I love and cherish all of you and each uplifting comment that you make on this blog. I hope all of you are doing well. Take care and I hope to keep this blog more updated in the days and weeks ahead.
Faith can be enlightening
Monday, August 24, 2009
Sometimes when the world comes tumbling down around you, you just have to go back to your child hood and have the blind faith of a child again. I'm talking about that faith and trust that our parents instilled within us - the kind that made us so innocent. Of course, having this blind fath and trust doesn't mean everything will automatically be flowers and candy. If we're at rock bottom, our faith tells us there's nowhere to go but up. Come what may, things will get better no matter how low we feel.
One thing I've learned is that change is constant. No matter if the change is good or bad, there's something going on in our busy lives. We may not always see or feel these changes, but they are there, pushing us onward.
These changes mold us into the people we are, no matter what age we are. Our friends, our co-workers, our family all mold and shape us in ways we can never fully understand. And when we lose faith and trust, we never see the faults within us - we place the blame elsewhere even when it's on us.
For those of us who have been hurt or been through loss, we start to wonder if we should put our faith in anything again. God doesn't always answer our prayers like we want Him to, but He does answer them based on our faith and strength in Him. Maybe our faith wavers in the bad times - or maybe it's stronger. And maybe we forget to have faith during the good times. But God forgives us when we doubt him.
We have to remember that even a small amount of faith can move mountains. As long as our faith is there, we can get through the hardships we have to face. And we can smile with joy in our hearts through the mountaintops God has blessed us with. Our trials, our mountains are there to help us be strong and once we make it to the top and start down the other side, we are able to enjoy the beauty that is God.
At the end of the journey, God always welcomes us home. He tells us "come to me all you who are heavy and laden and I will give you rest." He never fails us. He carries us when we think we can't go any more. He gives us the wonderful people in our lives who stand by us and offer us comfort and support. Without all the blessing of life that we are given each day, we would never wake up, breathe, walk, talk or feel. Even through our darkest hours, we have to have faith we'll make it through the storms of life.
I know faith isn't something we think about or talk about very often. We think more about love or trust, but when it comes down to it all three are connected. I know there are a handful of people I absolutely trust with my life. But those I do trust, are the most important people in my life. I might not always say I love them, but I hope they know I always will.
I think we get so busy that we forget those lessons our parents taught us about faith. That faith is a wonderful thing even in the worst of times. Faith, hope and love keep us balanced - one without the other in any form for ourselves, we lose out on having these for other people in our lives.
I know every time I lost someone - my father, my mother, my aunt, my uncle and even cousins - that my faith would waver. Like everyone else, I'd wonder why. Why couldn't there be a miracle for any one of them to still be here. But now, looking back, they were all miracles in my life. I was the miracle child for my parents. My mom was my best friend and example. Sure, her faith wavered, just as mine has done. She lost two husbands and had a child to raise alone. But she always showed me her faith in God was secure. My Uncle Clyde was always at church every time the doors were open. His faith and dedication in the Lord showed me so much though he lost both of his sisters. He pushed onward and looked after me as much as I looked after him. My Aunt Gloria was the same. Her faith knew no bounds.
I've seen people lose faith completely after losing a loved one. I've seen their faith increase during a battle with a serious illness. I've seen how families grow closer together after a loss and I've seen families torn apart. It's all about how they deal with the loss. Those with faith know they can make it through. I know for me it was the support from my family and friends and my faith in the knowledge that I will see my parents, aunt and uncle again that got me through the grief. Grief is overwhelming. It's possibly the hardest emotion to bear - even your body knows your heart and soul are being torn from the loss. The emptiness and numbness last for a long time and you are forever changed.
Though we know we can't live forever on this earth, each loss touches us. Death is final - but if we believe in God, it's only final for this earth. We may not fully understand what lies ahead after we leave this earth, but we know through our blind faith that it's better than all the toll and strife of this moral life.
One thing I've learned is that change is constant. No matter if the change is good or bad, there's something going on in our busy lives. We may not always see or feel these changes, but they are there, pushing us onward.
These changes mold us into the people we are, no matter what age we are. Our friends, our co-workers, our family all mold and shape us in ways we can never fully understand. And when we lose faith and trust, we never see the faults within us - we place the blame elsewhere even when it's on us.
For those of us who have been hurt or been through loss, we start to wonder if we should put our faith in anything again. God doesn't always answer our prayers like we want Him to, but He does answer them based on our faith and strength in Him. Maybe our faith wavers in the bad times - or maybe it's stronger. And maybe we forget to have faith during the good times. But God forgives us when we doubt him.
We have to remember that even a small amount of faith can move mountains. As long as our faith is there, we can get through the hardships we have to face. And we can smile with joy in our hearts through the mountaintops God has blessed us with. Our trials, our mountains are there to help us be strong and once we make it to the top and start down the other side, we are able to enjoy the beauty that is God.
At the end of the journey, God always welcomes us home. He tells us "come to me all you who are heavy and laden and I will give you rest." He never fails us. He carries us when we think we can't go any more. He gives us the wonderful people in our lives who stand by us and offer us comfort and support. Without all the blessing of life that we are given each day, we would never wake up, breathe, walk, talk or feel. Even through our darkest hours, we have to have faith we'll make it through the storms of life.
I know faith isn't something we think about or talk about very often. We think more about love or trust, but when it comes down to it all three are connected. I know there are a handful of people I absolutely trust with my life. But those I do trust, are the most important people in my life. I might not always say I love them, but I hope they know I always will.
I think we get so busy that we forget those lessons our parents taught us about faith. That faith is a wonderful thing even in the worst of times. Faith, hope and love keep us balanced - one without the other in any form for ourselves, we lose out on having these for other people in our lives.
I know every time I lost someone - my father, my mother, my aunt, my uncle and even cousins - that my faith would waver. Like everyone else, I'd wonder why. Why couldn't there be a miracle for any one of them to still be here. But now, looking back, they were all miracles in my life. I was the miracle child for my parents. My mom was my best friend and example. Sure, her faith wavered, just as mine has done. She lost two husbands and had a child to raise alone. But she always showed me her faith in God was secure. My Uncle Clyde was always at church every time the doors were open. His faith and dedication in the Lord showed me so much though he lost both of his sisters. He pushed onward and looked after me as much as I looked after him. My Aunt Gloria was the same. Her faith knew no bounds.
I've seen people lose faith completely after losing a loved one. I've seen their faith increase during a battle with a serious illness. I've seen how families grow closer together after a loss and I've seen families torn apart. It's all about how they deal with the loss. Those with faith know they can make it through. I know for me it was the support from my family and friends and my faith in the knowledge that I will see my parents, aunt and uncle again that got me through the grief. Grief is overwhelming. It's possibly the hardest emotion to bear - even your body knows your heart and soul are being torn from the loss. The emptiness and numbness last for a long time and you are forever changed.
Though we know we can't live forever on this earth, each loss touches us. Death is final - but if we believe in God, it's only final for this earth. We may not fully understand what lies ahead after we leave this earth, but we know through our blind faith that it's better than all the toll and strife of this moral life.
Health update - a little late
Saturday, July 25, 2009
I feel like I've started to climb a mountain and I'm halfway to the top. What I mean by this is that in four months, I've lost 30 pounds and with the help of the diabetic pills, my sugar is now down to 127.
I know I've only just begun this journey, but I am very happy that I've lost weight slowly and safely and have gotten my diabetes under control. With prayers and a little luck, I'm hoping to be down to a size 18 or 16 (like I was in high school) by the time January rolls around. My next visit to see Doctor Smith is in January and I want to drop at least 30 more pounds. I'm being realistic and not saying 60 or even 50. But of course either of those would be great too. In 3 months I dropped another 17 pounds since I first blogged about being diabetic. That's not as grad as the 13 pounds I lost in the month after I was diagnosed, but I'm still very proud of myself. My doctor was also impressed so I keep doing what I've been doing since March. I watch my carb intake, I take my pill daily (when I remember), I try to get enough sleep, I drink either water or diet soda and I try to cook at home more.
The only bad news from my visit (at the beginning of the month) is that I have tendonitis in my elbow, which makes my entire right arm hurt from my neck down to my knuckles. I bought a brace for my wrist some time ago so I have it and a brace for tennis elbow. She told me that I needed a massage for my shoulder since it's so tense or a portable one if I can find one. My job stresses me out sometimes and so does life in general, but I need to learn to let go sometimes. I bought some Epsom salt to soak my elbow, though I've only done it once. It still aches, but as long as I do work where I have to move my elbow and wrist often, I don't think it will get any better. I try to rest it at night when I get home when I get home from work and if it aches or shoots a sharp pain, I try to work it out.
Since I last wrote, I had my 29th birthday and I spent half of it in Pensacola with my cousin, Jonathan and the other half at work. It feels weird being this close to 30, which goes to prove that time flies when you aren't paying attention. It's not like when we were kids, so I guess I've gathered a little bit of patience along the way.
I'm still trying to finish my novel, but I always try to keep the creative juices flowing by writing everyday. I roleplay online with friends, so I write everyday. I write third person or first person when I make a journal entry for one of my characters. I sometimes want to take a break, but I always keep getting pulled back in. The games are fun - cool ideas with lots of people to write with. It's like writing a story with a partner - going back and forth, to and fro in your character's point of view. I love it - mainly because I get to be someone I'm not and I get to write out emotions and feelings that my character needs to express. But I think I love the interaction most of all because I get to be social online even if I hardly get the chance in real life.
I hope all of you are doing well. I've been really horrible about reading blogs lately. Hopefully work will get less hectic soon and I'll be able to catch up with all of you soon.
I know I've only just begun this journey, but I am very happy that I've lost weight slowly and safely and have gotten my diabetes under control. With prayers and a little luck, I'm hoping to be down to a size 18 or 16 (like I was in high school) by the time January rolls around. My next visit to see Doctor Smith is in January and I want to drop at least 30 more pounds. I'm being realistic and not saying 60 or even 50. But of course either of those would be great too. In 3 months I dropped another 17 pounds since I first blogged about being diabetic. That's not as grad as the 13 pounds I lost in the month after I was diagnosed, but I'm still very proud of myself. My doctor was also impressed so I keep doing what I've been doing since March. I watch my carb intake, I take my pill daily (when I remember), I try to get enough sleep, I drink either water or diet soda and I try to cook at home more.
The only bad news from my visit (at the beginning of the month) is that I have tendonitis in my elbow, which makes my entire right arm hurt from my neck down to my knuckles. I bought a brace for my wrist some time ago so I have it and a brace for tennis elbow. She told me that I needed a massage for my shoulder since it's so tense or a portable one if I can find one. My job stresses me out sometimes and so does life in general, but I need to learn to let go sometimes. I bought some Epsom salt to soak my elbow, though I've only done it once. It still aches, but as long as I do work where I have to move my elbow and wrist often, I don't think it will get any better. I try to rest it at night when I get home when I get home from work and if it aches or shoots a sharp pain, I try to work it out.
Since I last wrote, I had my 29th birthday and I spent half of it in Pensacola with my cousin, Jonathan and the other half at work. It feels weird being this close to 30, which goes to prove that time flies when you aren't paying attention. It's not like when we were kids, so I guess I've gathered a little bit of patience along the way.
I'm still trying to finish my novel, but I always try to keep the creative juices flowing by writing everyday. I roleplay online with friends, so I write everyday. I write third person or first person when I make a journal entry for one of my characters. I sometimes want to take a break, but I always keep getting pulled back in. The games are fun - cool ideas with lots of people to write with. It's like writing a story with a partner - going back and forth, to and fro in your character's point of view. I love it - mainly because I get to be someone I'm not and I get to write out emotions and feelings that my character needs to express. But I think I love the interaction most of all because I get to be social online even if I hardly get the chance in real life.
I hope all of you are doing well. I've been really horrible about reading blogs lately. Hopefully work will get less hectic soon and I'll be able to catch up with all of you soon.
Health update
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
Okay guys. I went to the doctor today and got my report.
....
Here we go. Last month, my sugar was at 303 and today it was to 136. Great! Still have to take the pills, but keep doing what I've been doing. I also lost 13lbs! This made me excited! Just think that much every month and I'll be down under 200 by the time I see the doctor again in 3 months. I showed my doctor the spot on my leg that I forgot about last time. She says it's psoriasis, but that it sometimes happens with diabetics. I've had this spot for about a year if not more. She gave me a prescription cream that I'm going to fill tomorrow with my diabetes pills. It bites having to wait to get paid to pay for these as I still don't have any insurance. My boss is aware that I'm diabetic but still she won't put me on insurance. I guess I'm not worth it. Ah well. New job or book published this year - that's another one of my goals.
I went to church tonight - since I had the night off, which was odd. I asked they pray for me since all of this is hard and I'm struggling with not going back to the way I was. But with everyone's prayers and my not wanting to be on insulin, I know I can do it!
I hope all of you are doing well. Happy Easter! Eat some Cadbury Eggs for me!
....
Here we go. Last month, my sugar was at 303 and today it was to 136. Great! Still have to take the pills, but keep doing what I've been doing. I also lost 13lbs! This made me excited! Just think that much every month and I'll be down under 200 by the time I see the doctor again in 3 months. I showed my doctor the spot on my leg that I forgot about last time. She says it's psoriasis, but that it sometimes happens with diabetics. I've had this spot for about a year if not more. She gave me a prescription cream that I'm going to fill tomorrow with my diabetes pills. It bites having to wait to get paid to pay for these as I still don't have any insurance. My boss is aware that I'm diabetic but still she won't put me on insurance. I guess I'm not worth it. Ah well. New job or book published this year - that's another one of my goals.
I went to church tonight - since I had the night off, which was odd. I asked they pray for me since all of this is hard and I'm struggling with not going back to the way I was. But with everyone's prayers and my not wanting to be on insulin, I know I can do it!
I hope all of you are doing well. Happy Easter! Eat some Cadbury Eggs for me!
Blessings come in small doses
Friday, March 27, 2009
I know I just posted a new blog, but I wanted to keep my "column" separate from my really personal updates.
Things are going pretty well. I'm still struggling with my eating habits. I miss bread!!! Of course, who doesn't cheat. I know I have. And I've limited my bread intake to once a week. Plus, regular sodas are down to once a week as well. I'm trying to drink more water and diet sodas. It's hard, but I'm making it. I'm also trying to eat more veggies, which is odd for me since I'm always getting something on the go before work. You guys would be surprised how many total carbs and calories fast food places have!! I got a book a while ago with all of that kind of info and I'm really using it now. :)
My sugar levels have been decent lately, but not perfect. I've had a few days when they've been on track, but only once when it's been at 200. At least most days it's close to the max after eating, even if I haven't eaten yet. That's progress at least! I'm proud of myself for doing this. And I'm hoping that with controlling my diet and taking the pills the doctor prescribed, that I'll be able to lose some weight and get healthy. That's something that I've been needing to do for a while now. My weight has gotten completely out of control. I haven't weighed myself since I went to the doctor, but my jeans are getting seriously baggy. I take that as a really good sign!
I spoke to my sister (half-sister from my dad's first marriage, but to me she's my sister no matter what) through email and she told me that my mom got diabetes just before she got pregnant with me. I'm going to double check on that with my Uncle Robert when I get a chance to talk to him. He caught me at the mailbox last week and I told him that I'm type II diabetic. Just knowing when and how mom got through being diabetic will help me, I'm sure. I remember watching her take shots twice a day and checking her sugar twice a day. I remember watching my Aunt Dot (my mom's best friend) do the same thing. I don't want to end up having more problems because of this disease and I do want to have children some day. I want to get it under control, along with my high blood pressure and my weight. My sister told me that blood pressure problems, spider veins on the legs, and heart problems run on my dad's side of the family. Ulcers, heart problems, asthma and diabetes are on mom's side. Plus, I'm still mildly anemic.
I want to get in better health so I can donate blood. I found out the first time I tried to donate that I have a rare blood type. I can't remember if it's AB neg or AB pos, but it's one of the two. I'll have to check with my sister and see what she has and what my dad had. I can't remember if the kid's supposed to have mom's blood type or dad's. That show's how much I payed attention in class, doesn't it?
I told my boss this week about my diabetes and what I'm going through. Hopefully, less stress will follow after Monday's over. We publish our Profile section - which comes once a year - on Tuesday. I know God has better things in store for me. I only hope that things will work out soon so I can find a job I'm more suited for. I want to write! And if I have to move to make that dream a reality, I'll do it! I just finished reading a really wonderful book on this kind of topic - The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho. It has really helped me to think about my dreams and hope that I can work toward them. I can't give up my dreams because I'm at a stand still. I have to do something about them or they'll never come true! If you haven't read this book and you're looking for some way to get back on the path, I'd recommend this book! It's really simple and it does have some religious/spiritual parts to it. I'm definitely going to re-read it before it has to go back to the library next week and when I get a chance, I'll definitely buy it! (Plus, it's my favorite guy's favorite book - Christian Kane!)
I'm trying to think of more interesting things to tell you guys, but I'm out of things to say. I hope all of you are doing well! I want to congratulate Carrie on getting a job after months of searching! This really shows how God works in our lives and answers the prayers of His children! I'll be trying to catch up on other blogs this weekend at work where I can look at pictures without killing my dialup.
Take care and God Bless!
Things are going pretty well. I'm still struggling with my eating habits. I miss bread!!! Of course, who doesn't cheat. I know I have. And I've limited my bread intake to once a week. Plus, regular sodas are down to once a week as well. I'm trying to drink more water and diet sodas. It's hard, but I'm making it. I'm also trying to eat more veggies, which is odd for me since I'm always getting something on the go before work. You guys would be surprised how many total carbs and calories fast food places have!! I got a book a while ago with all of that kind of info and I'm really using it now. :)
My sugar levels have been decent lately, but not perfect. I've had a few days when they've been on track, but only once when it's been at 200. At least most days it's close to the max after eating, even if I haven't eaten yet. That's progress at least! I'm proud of myself for doing this. And I'm hoping that with controlling my diet and taking the pills the doctor prescribed, that I'll be able to lose some weight and get healthy. That's something that I've been needing to do for a while now. My weight has gotten completely out of control. I haven't weighed myself since I went to the doctor, but my jeans are getting seriously baggy. I take that as a really good sign!
I spoke to my sister (half-sister from my dad's first marriage, but to me she's my sister no matter what) through email and she told me that my mom got diabetes just before she got pregnant with me. I'm going to double check on that with my Uncle Robert when I get a chance to talk to him. He caught me at the mailbox last week and I told him that I'm type II diabetic. Just knowing when and how mom got through being diabetic will help me, I'm sure. I remember watching her take shots twice a day and checking her sugar twice a day. I remember watching my Aunt Dot (my mom's best friend) do the same thing. I don't want to end up having more problems because of this disease and I do want to have children some day. I want to get it under control, along with my high blood pressure and my weight. My sister told me that blood pressure problems, spider veins on the legs, and heart problems run on my dad's side of the family. Ulcers, heart problems, asthma and diabetes are on mom's side. Plus, I'm still mildly anemic.
I want to get in better health so I can donate blood. I found out the first time I tried to donate that I have a rare blood type. I can't remember if it's AB neg or AB pos, but it's one of the two. I'll have to check with my sister and see what she has and what my dad had. I can't remember if the kid's supposed to have mom's blood type or dad's. That show's how much I payed attention in class, doesn't it?
I told my boss this week about my diabetes and what I'm going through. Hopefully, less stress will follow after Monday's over. We publish our Profile section - which comes once a year - on Tuesday. I know God has better things in store for me. I only hope that things will work out soon so I can find a job I'm more suited for. I want to write! And if I have to move to make that dream a reality, I'll do it! I just finished reading a really wonderful book on this kind of topic - The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho. It has really helped me to think about my dreams and hope that I can work toward them. I can't give up my dreams because I'm at a stand still. I have to do something about them or they'll never come true! If you haven't read this book and you're looking for some way to get back on the path, I'd recommend this book! It's really simple and it does have some religious/spiritual parts to it. I'm definitely going to re-read it before it has to go back to the library next week and when I get a chance, I'll definitely buy it! (Plus, it's my favorite guy's favorite book - Christian Kane!)
I'm trying to think of more interesting things to tell you guys, but I'm out of things to say. I hope all of you are doing well! I want to congratulate Carrie on getting a job after months of searching! This really shows how God works in our lives and answers the prayers of His children! I'll be trying to catch up on other blogs this weekend at work where I can look at pictures without killing my dialup.
Take care and God Bless!
Heroes live on through us
Two years ago last month, I lost one of my real life heroes. My real life hero wasn't a medical doctor, a pastor, a singer or an actor. He had a monotone voice when he spoke in class, but the days when he dressed up as Julius Caesar or Shakespeare were days you knew you should stay awake.
I had no idea what I wanted to do with my college education, but with a great adviser, came a great mentor and a father figure who was always there to lend a hand any way he could. My days at LBW were the best because of the man who I've come to think of as my personal hero.
Mike "Doc" Daniel wasn't your typical adviser or history teacher. Doc was extraordinary - a wonderful professor to do work-study under and a mentor to every student could help. He might have gone to extremes to get the attention of his class and was too kind with extra credit movies for his Western Civ II classes.
As Doc's work-study, I learned that most geniuses have too much stuff for their offices. i learned that being shy was not a good quality if I wanted to be a lawyer, which prompted me to shift my degree to journalism. I know I learned more from Doc than from any of my other teachers because he was such an exceptional mentor. His dry humor, costumes, and goofy grin will always be missed by his students and those who came to know him so well.
There are no words to really say all that Doc was, so I'll just talk about two of my favorite "Doc moments."
I was part of Circle K when I was at LBW. There were only a few of us, but I was always at every meeting. On awards night, just before graduation, Doc asked me to be there and "dress nice." Of course, I had no idea what was going on. That night, I received a plaque for Outstanding Member of Circle K. I'd never really received recognition for anything - unless you count third grade when I got first place and $25 for a poster contest. What made the award even more special was the fact that Doc was the one who presented it to me. I'm glad that I have that memory and photos of that night along with graduation.
My two years at LBW were the best. I made it through the required courses and some amazing classes that I'll never forget. Doc's Ethics and Government classes were definitely among those. Even through the loss of my uncle and having my heart broken, I had the best times of my life at LBW.
My second favorite Doc moment was when I'd been told to interview someone for one of my journalism classes at Troy (State) University. Doc was my first choice. I couldn't tell you what the class was (probably interviewing) or who the professor was (probably Dr. Padgett or Mr. Spurlock), but I remember the conversation with Doc.
We sat down in his cluttered office with a tape recorder, pad and pencil. I had ten questions to ask - mostly centered on his schooling and degrees. I'll never forget my "bomb" question because I had to keep a straight face when I asked him. My last question was out there. I asked if he'd ever been propositioned by a student and if he'd ever gone beyond the student/teacher relationship with any of them.
I'll always cherish the memory of that interview - learning all the things I'd never asked Doc when I was his work-study. And I'll always fondly remember Doc for putting me on the path to being a writer/journalist.
I have so many more reasons for why Doc is my real life hero. Doc never failed to give of his time or even his money when it was really needed. He was one of those rare people who always considered others before himself. For that, and for always being a pleasure to work for, Doc is my hero.
I know so few of us recognize those who have touched our lives while they're here to taid us in our trials and tribulations. I know this is so true for me. We get so busy with our lives and work that we forget to send messages to those we care about and those who have touched our hearts. I regret not keeping in touch with Doc as I should have, but life just got in the way and then I ran out of tomorrows to chat with him.
Tell your real life heroes that you admire them and thank them for touching your life. You never know when that next tomorrow might never come.
I had no idea what I wanted to do with my college education, but with a great adviser, came a great mentor and a father figure who was always there to lend a hand any way he could. My days at LBW were the best because of the man who I've come to think of as my personal hero.
Mike "Doc" Daniel wasn't your typical adviser or history teacher. Doc was extraordinary - a wonderful professor to do work-study under and a mentor to every student could help. He might have gone to extremes to get the attention of his class and was too kind with extra credit movies for his Western Civ II classes.
As Doc's work-study, I learned that most geniuses have too much stuff for their offices. i learned that being shy was not a good quality if I wanted to be a lawyer, which prompted me to shift my degree to journalism. I know I learned more from Doc than from any of my other teachers because he was such an exceptional mentor. His dry humor, costumes, and goofy grin will always be missed by his students and those who came to know him so well.
There are no words to really say all that Doc was, so I'll just talk about two of my favorite "Doc moments."
I was part of Circle K when I was at LBW. There were only a few of us, but I was always at every meeting. On awards night, just before graduation, Doc asked me to be there and "dress nice." Of course, I had no idea what was going on. That night, I received a plaque for Outstanding Member of Circle K. I'd never really received recognition for anything - unless you count third grade when I got first place and $25 for a poster contest. What made the award even more special was the fact that Doc was the one who presented it to me. I'm glad that I have that memory and photos of that night along with graduation.
My two years at LBW were the best. I made it through the required courses and some amazing classes that I'll never forget. Doc's Ethics and Government classes were definitely among those. Even through the loss of my uncle and having my heart broken, I had the best times of my life at LBW.
My second favorite Doc moment was when I'd been told to interview someone for one of my journalism classes at Troy (State) University. Doc was my first choice. I couldn't tell you what the class was (probably interviewing) or who the professor was (probably Dr. Padgett or Mr. Spurlock), but I remember the conversation with Doc.
We sat down in his cluttered office with a tape recorder, pad and pencil. I had ten questions to ask - mostly centered on his schooling and degrees. I'll never forget my "bomb" question because I had to keep a straight face when I asked him. My last question was out there. I asked if he'd ever been propositioned by a student and if he'd ever gone beyond the student/teacher relationship with any of them.
I'll always cherish the memory of that interview - learning all the things I'd never asked Doc when I was his work-study. And I'll always fondly remember Doc for putting me on the path to being a writer/journalist.
I have so many more reasons for why Doc is my real life hero. Doc never failed to give of his time or even his money when it was really needed. He was one of those rare people who always considered others before himself. For that, and for always being a pleasure to work for, Doc is my hero.
I know so few of us recognize those who have touched our lives while they're here to taid us in our trials and tribulations. I know this is so true for me. We get so busy with our lives and work that we forget to send messages to those we care about and those who have touched our hearts. I regret not keeping in touch with Doc as I should have, but life just got in the way and then I ran out of tomorrows to chat with him.
Tell your real life heroes that you admire them and thank them for touching your life. You never know when that next tomorrow might never come.
An update on me
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
In my last post I didn't know anything specific because I hadn't been to the doctor yet.
So here's what's going on with me. I knew I had a kidney infection, which the doctor confirmed and thankfully through the antibiotics I'm all well on that point. My mother had diabetes and had to be on insulin shots, so I knew I was at risk to have diabetes as well. I've just been waiting for the shoe to drop on it - well Thursday the doctor had the nurse check my glucose levels - and it was bad. Not as bad as it could have been, but still enough to diagnose me with Type II diabetes. I know I can deal with this, but it's been very hard. With being sick while the kidney infection was knocked from my system, I didn't really eat much, but now I can't have bread or anything "sweet." Now, the sweets aren't too bad of a thing to say no to - I can have fruit. The bread on the other hand is VERY hard to give up. But it's only for a month until I have to go back and see how I'm doing. When she tested me my glucose level was around 300 - that's over twice what it should be after eating. Needless to say, I need to make some changes.
I'm on a pill, not a shot right now and I'm supposed to check my glucose level every other day. I checked it yesterday and it was down to 264, which is better. Let's hope it keeps dropping! The doctor gave me samples of the pill I am taking and a prescription for another pill for 3 months. I'm hoping that what she told me about the prescription will help me lose some weight - I'm seriously in need of losing over 100 lbs at this point.
I know I don't want to have to go on the shots of insulin and that I do want to lose some weight and be healthier. But the stress of my job (which has gotten moreso lately because of my not feeling 100%) is not helping at all. Here's hoping that things turn around on that front. The doctor thinks most of what is happening with my health is stress related. And there's more stress to come this month - but after it's over things should get better for a little bit.
So, I still need you guys to keep me in your thoughts and prayers as I go through this. I have people that I know who deal with diabetes every day, so I have friends and family to talk to about it. But I know how much easier it would be if my mom were here to help me through this. And going through this makes me miss her more than I have in a very long time. But I know with the prayers and my faith in God, I can make it through.
Love you all!
So here's what's going on with me. I knew I had a kidney infection, which the doctor confirmed and thankfully through the antibiotics I'm all well on that point. My mother had diabetes and had to be on insulin shots, so I knew I was at risk to have diabetes as well. I've just been waiting for the shoe to drop on it - well Thursday the doctor had the nurse check my glucose levels - and it was bad. Not as bad as it could have been, but still enough to diagnose me with Type II diabetes. I know I can deal with this, but it's been very hard. With being sick while the kidney infection was knocked from my system, I didn't really eat much, but now I can't have bread or anything "sweet." Now, the sweets aren't too bad of a thing to say no to - I can have fruit. The bread on the other hand is VERY hard to give up. But it's only for a month until I have to go back and see how I'm doing. When she tested me my glucose level was around 300 - that's over twice what it should be after eating. Needless to say, I need to make some changes.
I'm on a pill, not a shot right now and I'm supposed to check my glucose level every other day. I checked it yesterday and it was down to 264, which is better. Let's hope it keeps dropping! The doctor gave me samples of the pill I am taking and a prescription for another pill for 3 months. I'm hoping that what she told me about the prescription will help me lose some weight - I'm seriously in need of losing over 100 lbs at this point.
I know I don't want to have to go on the shots of insulin and that I do want to lose some weight and be healthier. But the stress of my job (which has gotten moreso lately because of my not feeling 100%) is not helping at all. Here's hoping that things turn around on that front. The doctor thinks most of what is happening with my health is stress related. And there's more stress to come this month - but after it's over things should get better for a little bit.
So, I still need you guys to keep me in your thoughts and prayers as I go through this. I have people that I know who deal with diabetes every day, so I have friends and family to talk to about it. But I know how much easier it would be if my mom were here to help me through this. And going through this makes me miss her more than I have in a very long time. But I know with the prayers and my faith in God, I can make it through.
Love you all!
Prayers needed
Thursday, March 5, 2009
Hi guys. Personal post this time. I'm having a few personal problems - health problems and work issues that I need to decide about very soon. I'm asking you guys to lift me up and pray for me. I know what the power of prayer can do. I know that God listens to His children when they are humble before Him. I know I'll be getting down on my knees this week and asking Him for guidance in these decisions I need to make.
I hope all of you are doing well. I will be posting more Top 3 blogs soon!
I hope all of you are doing well. I will be posting more Top 3 blogs soon!
Top 3 people I'd love to meet
Saturday, February 28, 2009
I've decided to do a little something different with my blog for the next couple of weeks. I'll be doing a Top 3 or 5 every week and making and making personal posts in between. I want to invite my followers to submit things they'd like to see as well. I have a list of about 10 as of now and will be using them until they run out.
My first list came to me when I was trying to think of five people I'd love to meet in real life. Unfortunately, I could only come up with four, so I'll include the last one in this blog as a bonus.
Top 3 people (alive) that I'd really like to meet:
1. Christian Kane
2. Joss Whedon
3. Sherrilyn Kenyon
I'm sure you're looking at these names and wondering who they are, so I'll do a little intro on them to help you out. Then I'll tell you why I want to meet this person.
Christian Kane
Christian has played many roles since he first began acting. His most recent role is that of Eliot Spencer on TNT's Leverage. But most of us remember his role as bad boy lawyer Lindsey McDonald on Angel - the spin-off of Buffy. He's also made appearances in Dawson's Creek, Las Vegas, and a short lived series called Close to Home. You've probably glimpsed him in movies like Secondhand Lions, Taxi, Friday Night Lights, Just Married and Life or Something Like It.
This soon-to-be 35-year-old is talented in several ways that have people following him on every venture he sets out on. Not only is Christian a soulful country boy actor, he's also a singer and songwriter. Though the band Kane is now under Christian's solo name, he and friend, Steve Carlson have written several Americana/Country songs. The song More Than I Deserve was actually in Christian's movie The Crooked E: The Unshredded Truth About Enron and Sweet Carolina Rain was the song that Christian sings as he walks down the hall to his hotel room.
The reasons I want to meet Christian are many, but mostly I want to meet him because he's never given up on his dreams. He left home to go to LA to pursue his acting and though he's still not as famous as some actors, he's stayed around, making a name for himself. Through all of his hardships in the business, Christian has always pushed through with the unending love and support from his mother.
With his talents, his laid back style, and his country boy attitude, I know that Christian is an excellent person to know and be around. Just the easy way he makes himself humble - thanking people and being polite - he's one of those guys I can honestly say "his momma raised him right!"
Joss Whedon
If you haven't been watching television for the past 10 years, you probably don't know this guy. For those of you who can't place him, think Buffy the Vampire Slayer! Writer, Director, Producer - Joss Whedon is obviously a jack of all trades kind of guy. So, unless you've been living under a rock, you know who this guy is. For you rock dwellers, I'll give you the bio. Joss is the creator and writer and often director/producer for such shows as Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Angel, Firefly and most recently Dollhouse. He's written for the tv show Roseanne, where he got his start. Joss is famous for his quick wit and rewrites of scripts such as Speed.
Joss is one of the funniest, most gracious people that have the luck to become great and work with great people. There are so many reasons why I'd love to meet this man - he's smart, talented and the world's best boss to those he directs. For all the shows he's done, Joss has put his mark on them, showing us his funny side as well as his serious side. He's written things that have made us think about things. He's made supernatural beings become our best friends and people that we can related to - he made Buffy a girl we could all want to be like. He made Angel the dreamy, brooding guy that girls would love to go out with - despite his "problem" of being cursed with a soul. All of these are great reasons why I'd love to meet this man. He's a legend who has created pop icons for us to follow and grow attached to. That's why he's great.
Sherrilyn Kenyon
Sherri is one of my very favorite supernatural erotic authors. She's known for her Dark Hunter series, which includes the Dream Hunters and other interesting supernatural characters. The series is known for its twist on Greek mythology and Artemis being the "bitch goddess" who turns another god into a servant she can control - only she makes the mistake of betraying him. Acheron becomes more powerful than her - gaining his own powers as the Destroyer - the last living god of Atlantis. Her writing style and her ability to draw in her readers are things that make Sherri's books go to the bestseller's list.
Sherri's way of interacting with her fans and love of writing have made me want to write even more. To be able to meet someone who inspires you is one of the greatest things you can ever do.
All of these people inspire me in their own ways and I'd love to meet them and tell them how they've touched my life.
The fourth person I'd love to meet should be obvious since he wasn't on the list of the top 3. In high school I became a big Smashing Pumpkins fan. Billy Corgan became one of the heroes of my life through his music. I'd love to meet him because he's inspired me on so many levels. He's kept going even though the band broke up - and he's always kept on writing. That's the kind of people that inspire me.
I hope you guys have found this amusing at the least. It's way past bedtime and I've got a headache. Sweet dreams and happy thoughts for the future - maybe I'll actually meet these people in real life one day!
ETA: I knew I should've done this when I was more awake and when I was at work because the pictures really slowed down my connection and made me have several typing errors. I hope you guys enjoy these! Look for the next one tonight or tomorrow!
My first list came to me when I was trying to think of five people I'd love to meet in real life. Unfortunately, I could only come up with four, so I'll include the last one in this blog as a bonus.
Top 3 people (alive) that I'd really like to meet:
1. Christian Kane
2. Joss Whedon
3. Sherrilyn Kenyon
I'm sure you're looking at these names and wondering who they are, so I'll do a little intro on them to help you out. Then I'll tell you why I want to meet this person.
Christian KaneChristian has played many roles since he first began acting. His most recent role is that of Eliot Spencer on TNT's Leverage. But most of us remember his role as bad boy lawyer Lindsey McDonald on Angel - the spin-off of Buffy. He's also made appearances in Dawson's Creek, Las Vegas, and a short lived series called Close to Home. You've probably glimpsed him in movies like Secondhand Lions, Taxi, Friday Night Lights, Just Married and Life or Something Like It.
This soon-to-be 35-year-old is talented in several ways that have people following him on every venture he sets out on. Not only is Christian a soulful country boy actor, he's also a singer and songwriter. Though the band Kane is now under Christian's solo name, he and friend, Steve Carlson have written several Americana/Country songs. The song More Than I Deserve was actually in Christian's movie The Crooked E: The Unshredded Truth About Enron and Sweet Carolina Rain was the song that Christian sings as he walks down the hall to his hotel room.
The reasons I want to meet Christian are many, but mostly I want to meet him because he's never given up on his dreams. He left home to go to LA to pursue his acting and though he's still not as famous as some actors, he's stayed around, making a name for himself. Through all of his hardships in the business, Christian has always pushed through with the unending love and support from his mother.
With his talents, his laid back style, and his country boy attitude, I know that Christian is an excellent person to know and be around. Just the easy way he makes himself humble - thanking people and being polite - he's one of those guys I can honestly say "his momma raised him right!"
Joss WhedonIf you haven't been watching television for the past 10 years, you probably don't know this guy. For those of you who can't place him, think Buffy the Vampire Slayer! Writer, Director, Producer - Joss Whedon is obviously a jack of all trades kind of guy. So, unless you've been living under a rock, you know who this guy is. For you rock dwellers, I'll give you the bio. Joss is the creator and writer and often director/producer for such shows as Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Angel, Firefly and most recently Dollhouse. He's written for the tv show Roseanne, where he got his start. Joss is famous for his quick wit and rewrites of scripts such as Speed.
Joss is one of the funniest, most gracious people that have the luck to become great and work with great people. There are so many reasons why I'd love to meet this man - he's smart, talented and the world's best boss to those he directs. For all the shows he's done, Joss has put his mark on them, showing us his funny side as well as his serious side. He's written things that have made us think about things. He's made supernatural beings become our best friends and people that we can related to - he made Buffy a girl we could all want to be like. He made Angel the dreamy, brooding guy that girls would love to go out with - despite his "problem" of being cursed with a soul. All of these are great reasons why I'd love to meet this man. He's a legend who has created pop icons for us to follow and grow attached to. That's why he's great.
Sherrilyn KenyonSherri is one of my very favorite supernatural erotic authors. She's known for her Dark Hunter series, which includes the Dream Hunters and other interesting supernatural characters. The series is known for its twist on Greek mythology and Artemis being the "bitch goddess" who turns another god into a servant she can control - only she makes the mistake of betraying him. Acheron becomes more powerful than her - gaining his own powers as the Destroyer - the last living god of Atlantis. Her writing style and her ability to draw in her readers are things that make Sherri's books go to the bestseller's list.
Sherri's way of interacting with her fans and love of writing have made me want to write even more. To be able to meet someone who inspires you is one of the greatest things you can ever do.
All of these people inspire me in their own ways and I'd love to meet them and tell them how they've touched my life.
The fourth person I'd love to meet should be obvious since he wasn't on the list of the top 3. In high school I became a big Smashing Pumpkins fan. Billy Corgan became one of the heroes of my life through his music. I'd love to meet him because he's inspired me on so many levels. He's kept going even though the band broke up - and he's always kept on writing. That's the kind of people that inspire me.
I hope you guys have found this amusing at the least. It's way past bedtime and I've got a headache. Sweet dreams and happy thoughts for the future - maybe I'll actually meet these people in real life one day!
ETA: I knew I should've done this when I was more awake and when I was at work because the pictures really slowed down my connection and made me have several typing errors. I hope you guys enjoy these! Look for the next one tonight or tomorrow!
Family and inspiration
Sunday, February 22, 2009
Tonight while I was driving home from work, I was thinking about all those profile sections that Troy, Brewton and Atmore have been doing in the past few weeks. I know ours for the Star-News is coming up and of course I was thinking about who would make the best stories. Naturally most profile stories are about people - feature stories on people who have impacted the communty.
So, I came up with the three people who have been inspiration in my life.
The number one inspiration on my list would be my mother, especially since she raised me on her own since I was six. My mother was always there for me, even when I wasn't the best daughter. She raised me in the church, taking me to Sunday school and Vacation Bible School throughout my young years. She taught me about God and Jesus and how to always put my faith first and trust in God. Through all her trials, my mother was strong. She went through losing my father, back surgeries, and a stroke that eventually led to her leaving this world.
My second inspiration would be my Uncle Clyde - my mom's brother. Those of you who have known me for a long time probably remember my Uncle Clyde. He lived with us all of my life and he was the one person that was constantly there for me after my mother passed away. He and I were close and we took care of each other - more me taking care of him since he only had an eighth grade education. He went to church every Sunday and was there for every service. He enjoyed singing in the choir, though he couldn't really read that well, he knew almost every song in the hymn book. Uncle Clyde was with me through my first year of college and in the fall of 1999, he fell on a fishing trip and broke his hip. He underwent a hip replacement and complications set in. He went to USA hospital in Mobile to have his stomach removed and never came home.
My last inspiration would be my Uncle Robert. I know I don't talk about him much and there have been times when I deeply dislike him, but he is a great man. He has always put his faith in God first and led his family from his study of the Bible. My Uncle Robert and Aunt Gloria moved from Pensacola in 1995 to Andalusia so they could become my guardians. I know it was a hard transition for my Aunt Gloria, who loved the city. But it was never a hardship for Uncle Robert. He loved the country - and the country life. He loved the old home place - "the country house" that belonged to my grandparents. He still lives there to this day - even though he's well over eighty. He and Aunt Gloria made Andalusia their home and Mobley Creek their home church. Uncle Robert willingly took over Sunday school duties and leading the choir. If anyone in my life knows God's unfailing wisdom and will, it is my Uncle Robert. Uncle Robert knows the Bible better than anyone else I know. He has notebooks full of notes on every book in the Bible that he uses for his Sunday school classes. He never fails to go to church every time the doors are open. Through his trials and the loss of my Aunt Gloria, he has always been strong. He has had a mild heartattack and does not hear so well anymore, but still he presses toward the mark - to the high calling of God.
These inspirational people have touched my life and have made me the person I am. They have taught me to always be strong and even through my faith wavers at times, to always keep God in my life to guide me.
So, I came up with the three people who have been inspiration in my life.
The number one inspiration on my list would be my mother, especially since she raised me on her own since I was six. My mother was always there for me, even when I wasn't the best daughter. She raised me in the church, taking me to Sunday school and Vacation Bible School throughout my young years. She taught me about God and Jesus and how to always put my faith first and trust in God. Through all her trials, my mother was strong. She went through losing my father, back surgeries, and a stroke that eventually led to her leaving this world.
My second inspiration would be my Uncle Clyde - my mom's brother. Those of you who have known me for a long time probably remember my Uncle Clyde. He lived with us all of my life and he was the one person that was constantly there for me after my mother passed away. He and I were close and we took care of each other - more me taking care of him since he only had an eighth grade education. He went to church every Sunday and was there for every service. He enjoyed singing in the choir, though he couldn't really read that well, he knew almost every song in the hymn book. Uncle Clyde was with me through my first year of college and in the fall of 1999, he fell on a fishing trip and broke his hip. He underwent a hip replacement and complications set in. He went to USA hospital in Mobile to have his stomach removed and never came home.
My last inspiration would be my Uncle Robert. I know I don't talk about him much and there have been times when I deeply dislike him, but he is a great man. He has always put his faith in God first and led his family from his study of the Bible. My Uncle Robert and Aunt Gloria moved from Pensacola in 1995 to Andalusia so they could become my guardians. I know it was a hard transition for my Aunt Gloria, who loved the city. But it was never a hardship for Uncle Robert. He loved the country - and the country life. He loved the old home place - "the country house" that belonged to my grandparents. He still lives there to this day - even though he's well over eighty. He and Aunt Gloria made Andalusia their home and Mobley Creek their home church. Uncle Robert willingly took over Sunday school duties and leading the choir. If anyone in my life knows God's unfailing wisdom and will, it is my Uncle Robert. Uncle Robert knows the Bible better than anyone else I know. He has notebooks full of notes on every book in the Bible that he uses for his Sunday school classes. He never fails to go to church every time the doors are open. Through his trials and the loss of my Aunt Gloria, he has always been strong. He has had a mild heartattack and does not hear so well anymore, but still he presses toward the mark - to the high calling of God.
These inspirational people have touched my life and have made me the person I am. They have taught me to always be strong and even through my faith wavers at times, to always keep God in my life to guide me.
It's my life...and what's going on...
Saturday, January 31, 2009
I'm a crappy updater, but I figured it's time. Right now I'm sick - allergies and weather changing is getting me all messed up. Other than that things seem to be going okay. I'm hoping to get a short story published soon, but I won't know anything until much later next month if it goes in or not. It won't be much for payment, but it'll be a start in the right direction.
Jonathan's been going through a lot lately. He called me frantic the other night and I didn't get his call until two hours later. He's got an ulcer from all the stress he's been under. So keep him in your prayers (and me! that I get over this cold quickly). He's stressed big time right now because of a lot of stuff that's going on with the DoD and the Navy. I can't really say what, but it still looks like he'll be going away to basic training at some point.
Work is the same. I'm sick of it, but I still have to make a living. I've learned some HTML and CSS, so I know pretty well how to make a webpage. It's interesting what makes a webpage work, but I wouldn't want to sit around doing it all day. Here's hoping I get a little bitty raise for my trouble.
I'm so glad I finally got my car fixed. I don't know if I mentioned that in previous posts, but I'd had problems with the heater core for over a month. It's a blessing to have it fixed with the cold weather that's coming our way. Now I can turn on my heater and be warm while I'm driving home.
I've been talking to a very sweet guy I met online - just online chatting and emails so far. I'm not hoping for much - just some new friends would be great. I'm so busy and not very social these days, that it's impossible to get to know someone unless they email/chat/call me regularly. Yes, I know I'm horrible! I can't help it. I'm trying to keep up with everyone better one step at a time.
I just found out recently - because I was putting up the obits on Star News website - that my best friend from high school's dad passed away. Brandi and her family have been distanced for a while, so I have no idea if she came home or not. I really do hope so. I know her mom and her sisters probably need her right now.
I've got things to do besides sit here and blog, so I'd best get on with it. I hope all of you are doing well.
~ Esther
Jonathan's been going through a lot lately. He called me frantic the other night and I didn't get his call until two hours later. He's got an ulcer from all the stress he's been under. So keep him in your prayers (and me! that I get over this cold quickly). He's stressed big time right now because of a lot of stuff that's going on with the DoD and the Navy. I can't really say what, but it still looks like he'll be going away to basic training at some point.
Work is the same. I'm sick of it, but I still have to make a living. I've learned some HTML and CSS, so I know pretty well how to make a webpage. It's interesting what makes a webpage work, but I wouldn't want to sit around doing it all day. Here's hoping I get a little bitty raise for my trouble.
I'm so glad I finally got my car fixed. I don't know if I mentioned that in previous posts, but I'd had problems with the heater core for over a month. It's a blessing to have it fixed with the cold weather that's coming our way. Now I can turn on my heater and be warm while I'm driving home.
I've been talking to a very sweet guy I met online - just online chatting and emails so far. I'm not hoping for much - just some new friends would be great. I'm so busy and not very social these days, that it's impossible to get to know someone unless they email/chat/call me regularly. Yes, I know I'm horrible! I can't help it. I'm trying to keep up with everyone better one step at a time.
I just found out recently - because I was putting up the obits on Star News website - that my best friend from high school's dad passed away. Brandi and her family have been distanced for a while, so I have no idea if she came home or not. I really do hope so. I know her mom and her sisters probably need her right now.
I've got things to do besides sit here and blog, so I'd best get on with it. I hope all of you are doing well.
~ Esther
Labels:
personal
A historical day: Obama sworn into office
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Today, January 20, 2009 was one of the most historical days America has ever known as a nation. We have successfully put the first African-American president into the highest office of this nation. He is now our commander in chief, the head of our armed forces and the leader of our nation.
Though I still have my concerns about President Obama, I feel more secure in the fact that he is looking out for our best interests. He wants this country to be great again - just like every American wants. And that is enough for me to stand up and get behind him as president.
We know that change needs to occur. And we should know that change does not occur over night. Sometimes it takes months and even years and decades before change is sufficient enough to notice. But I believe if we all stand up and let our opinions be known and show this president that we want our nation to be one of the best in the world - he will help us to achieve that collective goal.
Over the past 100 years we have seen many changes for the better. We have seen slavery be outlawed. We have seen African-Americans be given the rights to vote. We have seen women take on more roles than just being homemakers - and the big right to vote and make the choice about their bodies through abortion rights. I agree with all of these changes. I am glad they happened. I'm glad we are no longer segregated by the color of our skin and that we can come together as many Americans did on this day and watch as our 44th president is sworn into office.
This is a day that we will remember for the rest of our lives - because we were the first to do it. And when change has come, when things get better in the next four years, maybe we will finally be ready for a female president.
I am proud of our country. I'm proud that so many people came together to celebrate this day - a day of change.
To quote President Obama from his inauguration speech: "For we know that our patchwork heritage is a strength, not a weakness. We are a nation of Christians and Muslims, Jews and Hindus — and non-believers. We are shaped by every language and culture, drawn from every end of this Earth; and because we have tasted the bitter swill of civil war and segregation, and emerged from that dark chapter stronger and more united, we cannot help but believe that the old hatreds shall someday pass; that the lines of tribe shall soon dissolve; that as the world grows smaller, our common humanity shall reveal itself; and that America must play its role in ushering in a new era of peace."
We must do whatever we can to bring peace and pride back to our country. And we must do whatever we have to do to make this country stable again. Our economy needs a turn around and we have to step up - we have to have more jobs created and more resources to make this economy grow again.
Here's hoping the next four years are as good as we all hope they are.
Though I still have my concerns about President Obama, I feel more secure in the fact that he is looking out for our best interests. He wants this country to be great again - just like every American wants. And that is enough for me to stand up and get behind him as president.
We know that change needs to occur. And we should know that change does not occur over night. Sometimes it takes months and even years and decades before change is sufficient enough to notice. But I believe if we all stand up and let our opinions be known and show this president that we want our nation to be one of the best in the world - he will help us to achieve that collective goal.
Over the past 100 years we have seen many changes for the better. We have seen slavery be outlawed. We have seen African-Americans be given the rights to vote. We have seen women take on more roles than just being homemakers - and the big right to vote and make the choice about their bodies through abortion rights. I agree with all of these changes. I am glad they happened. I'm glad we are no longer segregated by the color of our skin and that we can come together as many Americans did on this day and watch as our 44th president is sworn into office.
This is a day that we will remember for the rest of our lives - because we were the first to do it. And when change has come, when things get better in the next four years, maybe we will finally be ready for a female president.
I am proud of our country. I'm proud that so many people came together to celebrate this day - a day of change.
To quote President Obama from his inauguration speech: "For we know that our patchwork heritage is a strength, not a weakness. We are a nation of Christians and Muslims, Jews and Hindus — and non-believers. We are shaped by every language and culture, drawn from every end of this Earth; and because we have tasted the bitter swill of civil war and segregation, and emerged from that dark chapter stronger and more united, we cannot help but believe that the old hatreds shall someday pass; that the lines of tribe shall soon dissolve; that as the world grows smaller, our common humanity shall reveal itself; and that America must play its role in ushering in a new era of peace."
We must do whatever we can to bring peace and pride back to our country. And we must do whatever we have to do to make this country stable again. Our economy needs a turn around and we have to step up - we have to have more jobs created and more resources to make this economy grow again.
Here's hoping the next four years are as good as we all hope they are.
Labels:
history,
inauguration,
president
Life isn't like what you read in books...
Saturday, January 17, 2009
Life has been...well, busy lately. I've still been working a whole lot. Yes, this job keeps me busy and so do all of my online friends. I roleplay a good bit and that keeps me entertained. I'm writing a book - well, still working on finishing a book is more like it. I'm just about done - just need to get the plot finished. And I'm working on a story for an eBook an online friend is collecting stories for - well stories to consider. I hope mine makes it, but I don't have high hopes right now. There are people out there far more talented than I am.
My writing has gotten much better in the past few years. I think roleplaying helps a good deal - getting to write a story with someone else and seeing yourself in that character doing every action they do is really fulfilling. If I can just get a beta for my short story and a good beta that I trust for my book, I think I'll be on the road to being a real author.
I'm proud that I wrote 50k in 30 days, but I know I'll be even prouder when I can have it finished to start sending to publishers. I really want to have something I'm proud of in book form - even if very few people will actually read it. I've always been a dreamer. I've always had things in my head - pictures of events and people and I know that's why I've always been writing. Journalism was just another way to write, but I want to be creative when I write. Sure, being a reporter can help with that, but you've got to make it interesting and hook in your readers - and trust me, there are NOT any journalists here at the paper now that can do that - well save maybe one (our copy editor). Human interest. Features. Telling something isn't how to hook someone - you have to SHOW them what happened so they can picture it. Yes, that's the way to go.
Okay. I'll stop being a writer now and let you guys know I'm still alive even if I'm getting a little bit sick right now. I know it's because I've been driving around in my car without heat for over a month and because I go from a heated room to a colder room every night. Plus, allergies aren't fun right now with all the weather changes. Here's hoping the weather will make up it's mind for the next few months. But hey, who knows. We could have snow in south Alabama! lol
I hope all of you are doing well. My resolution for this year is to keep in touch with more people by reading their blogs or whatnot. So I'm going to strive to get on MySpace more and try to check Blogspot better. I really have enjoyed catching up with everyone that blogs. I find it's really nice to be able to write about your day and let people read about the things you're doing. It's a great way to get encouragement and communicate.
My writing has gotten much better in the past few years. I think roleplaying helps a good deal - getting to write a story with someone else and seeing yourself in that character doing every action they do is really fulfilling. If I can just get a beta for my short story and a good beta that I trust for my book, I think I'll be on the road to being a real author.
I'm proud that I wrote 50k in 30 days, but I know I'll be even prouder when I can have it finished to start sending to publishers. I really want to have something I'm proud of in book form - even if very few people will actually read it. I've always been a dreamer. I've always had things in my head - pictures of events and people and I know that's why I've always been writing. Journalism was just another way to write, but I want to be creative when I write. Sure, being a reporter can help with that, but you've got to make it interesting and hook in your readers - and trust me, there are NOT any journalists here at the paper now that can do that - well save maybe one (our copy editor). Human interest. Features. Telling something isn't how to hook someone - you have to SHOW them what happened so they can picture it. Yes, that's the way to go.
Okay. I'll stop being a writer now and let you guys know I'm still alive even if I'm getting a little bit sick right now. I know it's because I've been driving around in my car without heat for over a month and because I go from a heated room to a colder room every night. Plus, allergies aren't fun right now with all the weather changes. Here's hoping the weather will make up it's mind for the next few months. But hey, who knows. We could have snow in south Alabama! lol
I hope all of you are doing well. My resolution for this year is to keep in touch with more people by reading their blogs or whatnot. So I'm going to strive to get on MySpace more and try to check Blogspot better. I really have enjoyed catching up with everyone that blogs. I find it's really nice to be able to write about your day and let people read about the things you're doing. It's a great way to get encouragement and communicate.
Labels:
books,
journalism,
personal,
resolution,
thoughts,
work,
writing
Esther is very bored...lol
Monday, January 12, 2009
Here I am bored at work again and I know there's about 10 things I'd rather be doing or should be doing. I should be working on my book or the short story I started to submit to a friend for an ebook. Of course, those things are on my personal computer at home and I'm at work so I can't do anything with them right now.
I know I should probably update my journals on LiveJournal and InsaneJournal, but I'm not in the mood. Besides, there's not much new with me anyway, so I figure I'll save people the trouble of reading "blah, blah, blah" all over again.
Don't get me wrong, I love that I have a job, but sometimes it's not all it's cracked up to be. Especially the pay and all the things I usually have to do in my day before I get to go home around midnight or 1 a.m. I'm grateful that I can get out of bed and come to work and that I do have some pretty amazing people to work with. But sometimes I just have those days where I look at my life and think "why am I still here?" or "why am I still doing this?" Come Saturday the 16th, I will have my 3rd anniversary with the newspaper. Yep. 3 whole years I've been here. Who knows, I may be here another two years or I may find my niche in the writing world in two months. No one knows. I go wherever life takes me. I let God guide me and hope for the best.
As inauguration day draws nearer, I still wonder if this country is ready for the changes Obama is proposing. I wonder if they are for the best - if these changes will take us deeper into depression or if we will come out of it quicker in the long run. Will our health care really be reformed? Will we have free clinics and free insurance for those who don't have it? Will the government give us more money back when we file our taxes? Will other nations look at us and be proud or are we giving them a reason to attack us by our choice in president? These are the questions still floating in my mind as the day draws nearer and we will put our 44th president into office. I can only hope and pray and put my faith in God that our country will go forward instead of back.
Now, I've found something to occupy my time until something else comes in. I hope all of you are doing well. I spoke with Karen last night for a few minutes and it was good to catch up with old friends. I'm doing my best to keep in touch with everyone, but with my work schedule it's become very hard to socialize at all. Take care all!
I know I should probably update my journals on LiveJournal and InsaneJournal, but I'm not in the mood. Besides, there's not much new with me anyway, so I figure I'll save people the trouble of reading "blah, blah, blah" all over again.
Don't get me wrong, I love that I have a job, but sometimes it's not all it's cracked up to be. Especially the pay and all the things I usually have to do in my day before I get to go home around midnight or 1 a.m. I'm grateful that I can get out of bed and come to work and that I do have some pretty amazing people to work with. But sometimes I just have those days where I look at my life and think "why am I still here?" or "why am I still doing this?" Come Saturday the 16th, I will have my 3rd anniversary with the newspaper. Yep. 3 whole years I've been here. Who knows, I may be here another two years or I may find my niche in the writing world in two months. No one knows. I go wherever life takes me. I let God guide me and hope for the best.
As inauguration day draws nearer, I still wonder if this country is ready for the changes Obama is proposing. I wonder if they are for the best - if these changes will take us deeper into depression or if we will come out of it quicker in the long run. Will our health care really be reformed? Will we have free clinics and free insurance for those who don't have it? Will the government give us more money back when we file our taxes? Will other nations look at us and be proud or are we giving them a reason to attack us by our choice in president? These are the questions still floating in my mind as the day draws nearer and we will put our 44th president into office. I can only hope and pray and put my faith in God that our country will go forward instead of back.
Now, I've found something to occupy my time until something else comes in. I hope all of you are doing well. I spoke with Karen last night for a few minutes and it was good to catch up with old friends. I'm doing my best to keep in touch with everyone, but with my work schedule it's become very hard to socialize at all. Take care all!
Blogging for the sake of bloging
Friday, January 2, 2009
Wow. Two blogs in one day?! Esther must be bored - and yes, I am by the way.
I always seem to be stuck at work these days, so hey, why not make the most of it by blogging, eh?
I spent the day today in Pensacola with my cousin, Jonathan. I am as proud of him as I would be of a brother - we're that close. We talk often and he's the most amazing 22-year-old I know right now. He's going into the Navy in March to work with the Department of Defense or at least that's what I think he said. (Will clarify if I'm wrong in a future post.)
Jonathan is a very smart and articulate person. He plays the piano and organ. He's held a job since he was fifteen and though he dropped out of school at sixteen, he went to LBWCC and got his GED. Now, he's almost finished with PJC after several years of trying to finish up two years of college. I'm so proud of him and his GPA is more amazing than mine was in college. He's part of a business honor society and is hoping that he can get his associate degree before he ships off for basic training. But he still has to find out if it's possible.
I know I will miss him while he's gone, though I will be able to write him letters. Jon has been the one constant person in my life. Even though Mary Ann (his sister) and I have been friends since we were children - we have drifted apart and Jon is the one who has come in to take her place. I can talk to him when there is no one else to talk to and it makes me feel good to know he's there when I need him.
As for my book, it is going to take more time than I thought. Maybe not the finishing up bit, but the editing enough to send to publishers is going to take a great deal of time. For those of you who are curious, it is a paranormal romance - dealing mostly with vampires and a bit with werewolves. There is a love story going on throughout the entire thing, which is written in first person. I have dreamed ideas that came from mythology - Greek and Roman and I have probably confused myself more than once on the idea of gods and goddesses and God. One of my heroes, who will have his own book is deeply religious (in the Christian sense). And the tale of how the vampires came to be is a little confusing to him because of his faith. I am sure I deal with a lot of things that people sometimes don't want to deal with - losing the one you love to someone else, finding out a shocking truth, and then there's always the big betrayal. Sometimes these come out of my experiences and sometimes I simply dream them up. I think the series would be great since it's pretty different than anything I've read before. We will see what happens. I've got an idea for a teen novel about a boy who travels back in time to save a girl from dying. It might come to life at some point. I'm simply proud of myself for writing 50k in 30 days.
Well, it's back to work or back to finding something to do around here while I wait on sports to get finished so I can go home. :) I hope you all are having a wonderful Friday and that you have a wonderful weekend! RTR! (if we can win the Sugar Bowl!!!)
I always seem to be stuck at work these days, so hey, why not make the most of it by blogging, eh?
I spent the day today in Pensacola with my cousin, Jonathan. I am as proud of him as I would be of a brother - we're that close. We talk often and he's the most amazing 22-year-old I know right now. He's going into the Navy in March to work with the Department of Defense or at least that's what I think he said. (Will clarify if I'm wrong in a future post.)
Jonathan is a very smart and articulate person. He plays the piano and organ. He's held a job since he was fifteen and though he dropped out of school at sixteen, he went to LBWCC and got his GED. Now, he's almost finished with PJC after several years of trying to finish up two years of college. I'm so proud of him and his GPA is more amazing than mine was in college. He's part of a business honor society and is hoping that he can get his associate degree before he ships off for basic training. But he still has to find out if it's possible.
I know I will miss him while he's gone, though I will be able to write him letters. Jon has been the one constant person in my life. Even though Mary Ann (his sister) and I have been friends since we were children - we have drifted apart and Jon is the one who has come in to take her place. I can talk to him when there is no one else to talk to and it makes me feel good to know he's there when I need him.
As for my book, it is going to take more time than I thought. Maybe not the finishing up bit, but the editing enough to send to publishers is going to take a great deal of time. For those of you who are curious, it is a paranormal romance - dealing mostly with vampires and a bit with werewolves. There is a love story going on throughout the entire thing, which is written in first person. I have dreamed ideas that came from mythology - Greek and Roman and I have probably confused myself more than once on the idea of gods and goddesses and God. One of my heroes, who will have his own book is deeply religious (in the Christian sense). And the tale of how the vampires came to be is a little confusing to him because of his faith. I am sure I deal with a lot of things that people sometimes don't want to deal with - losing the one you love to someone else, finding out a shocking truth, and then there's always the big betrayal. Sometimes these come out of my experiences and sometimes I simply dream them up. I think the series would be great since it's pretty different than anything I've read before. We will see what happens. I've got an idea for a teen novel about a boy who travels back in time to save a girl from dying. It might come to life at some point. I'm simply proud of myself for writing 50k in 30 days.
Well, it's back to work or back to finding something to do around here while I wait on sports to get finished so I can go home. :) I hope you all are having a wonderful Friday and that you have a wonderful weekend! RTR! (if we can win the Sugar Bowl!!!)
Happy New Year!
Just nine years ago we were frightened about going into the new millennium, but now here we are in 2009 and we're still going strong. Our nation may not be the most secure place to be right now, but we're still here - even through a recession. Our nation is still one of the best places to live and with a new president-elect going into office in just 18 days, we're going new places we've never been before.
I'm excited about this year. Mostly because I hope it's a new beginning for me and because I know we are taking a new turn in our nation with the first African American president. I'm anxious and excited to see what Obama will accomplish in this great nation we live in. I know it can't be worse than the last 8 years with Bush - which weren't all bad - we did get a stimulus check that we all desperately needed.
Mostly I'm excited about this year because I will attempt to be a published author by the end of the year. I'm really hoping to finish my novel by the end of January since I have been slacking this December. It's something I've been working on since I was 15 and something that has taken many turns and twists as the characters have come alive on the page. I have simply let them guide me and take me on this journey and I have come through NaNoWriMo with over 50k and still going.
Sometimes I do have my doubts about being a writer, but then I sit here and think about what else I could be doing. There's nothing else I would rather do if I'm completely honest with myself. Sure, I could be an English teacher, but I'd much rather be a writer. I'm no journalist - I'm no Lois Lane by a long shot - investigative reporting is still alive in the bigger cities, but in Andalusia, there's no use. The biggest story we've broken was the money scandal in the probate judge's office. Wow.
Let's all try our best in 2009, no matter what resolutions we've made. My only resolution is try to keep in touch with everyone a little better than last year. I want to make time for friends and family instead of keeping to myself so I can get back into the world a little more.
Here's hoping 2009 is the best year yet!
I'm excited about this year. Mostly because I hope it's a new beginning for me and because I know we are taking a new turn in our nation with the first African American president. I'm anxious and excited to see what Obama will accomplish in this great nation we live in. I know it can't be worse than the last 8 years with Bush - which weren't all bad - we did get a stimulus check that we all desperately needed.
Mostly I'm excited about this year because I will attempt to be a published author by the end of the year. I'm really hoping to finish my novel by the end of January since I have been slacking this December. It's something I've been working on since I was 15 and something that has taken many turns and twists as the characters have come alive on the page. I have simply let them guide me and take me on this journey and I have come through NaNoWriMo with over 50k and still going.
Sometimes I do have my doubts about being a writer, but then I sit here and think about what else I could be doing. There's nothing else I would rather do if I'm completely honest with myself. Sure, I could be an English teacher, but I'd much rather be a writer. I'm no journalist - I'm no Lois Lane by a long shot - investigative reporting is still alive in the bigger cities, but in Andalusia, there's no use. The biggest story we've broken was the money scandal in the probate judge's office. Wow.
Let's all try our best in 2009, no matter what resolutions we've made. My only resolution is try to keep in touch with everyone a little better than last year. I want to make time for friends and family instead of keeping to myself so I can get back into the world a little more.
Here's hoping 2009 is the best year yet!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)